We are now living in a truly global village. With the internet and digital revolution that has virtually taken over the whole world, everyone is connected to each other like never before. Yes, I’ll come back to that word later, virtual and virtually!
Perhaps, it’s a natural and logical progression from where we first started — from living in caves and progressing on to isolated enclaves, villages, collection of villages, and then forming bigger communities, moving on to suburbia, towns, cities, inner cities, megacities and finally, modern metropolises.
God knows where we’ll finally end up. Maybe living below the waves, or in the bowels of the earth, or colonising some neighbouring planets where we could build futuristic longhouses and super megacities.
But in all these so-called progress, if we are to step back and reflect, asking the basic question “have we really progressed in all these years?” Maybe, in terms of physical and technological progress’, the answer is yes but not necessarily in some other dimensions or perspectives.
For example, modern technology, inventions and electronics devices that we have are changing and redefining our lives every other day. I’ve just read a report that Elon Musk wants to implant computer chips in the brain. Ya, ya, we’ll become true “robo-humanoids”, half man-half machine monsters.
Today, we already know that the social media has given a new dimension to the meaning of words like “connection” “communication “and “friendship,” which leaves us staring at tiny flickering screens more than engaging with the people around us.
We all have heard anecdotal stories of two people sitting side by side or in the same room sending messages on their mobile devices in some deep virtual communication, connecting through the screens of their mobile phones and not face to face.
Yes, we are in the age of being virtually glued to our communication devices and suffering from poor communication ability caused by a disease called ‘virtual-mania’. We have become virtual manic!
One would think that underlying the progression of societies and human evolution over the ages lies a fundamental principle – which I’d term as “community living”, the essence of the village upbringing, as I once knew it. And certainly, something that is shared by traditional societies all over the world. Something which the so called ‘modern life’ and the concept of nuclear family has put some serious dents on.
Where I grew up as a kid in our longhouse in Pa Mein, in the Central Kelabit Highlands, near Bario, I recall that the community ethos was that every kid was to be treated as being everyone’s child. In other words, the upbringing and supervision of a village kid was the responsibility of not just the biological parents but also the elder siblings, the grandparents, the extended family and finally, the whole community.
It was common for people to live in an intergenerational community in a village, providing the best environment and ecosystem to raise the young ones. Everyone would be on the lookout to ensure not only each other’s safety and well-being, but also in the propagation of, and compliance to, the values and norms of behaviours expected of everyone.
The young ones will be nurtured in a holistic communal upbringing. For example, the concept of dooq adat in Kelabit society, which can be loosely translated as “being of proper behaviour and good morality” is a cardinal communal principle and closely ‘enforced’ under the watchful eyes of the entire community. As I fondly recall it.
Let’s say, for example, that if a kid was being naughty and exhibiting negative behaviour, every adult could, and would be expected to counsel, and even reprimand, the kid; thereby helping to remind the kid as to how to behave and ensuring that he or she conforms to the expected standard of behaviour, the norm and so on.
I recall one incident where one of the kids who was a bit naughty or playful and was caught doing something rather dangerous, putting himself and other kids at risk. He was not only severely reprimanded but was spanked by one of the uncles.
When he complained to his own father, after he got home later, the father took out his rotan and gave him a good spanking on the buttock! He told him that luckily, he was not there when it happened or else the first punishment would have been even more severe.
We can agree or disagree as to whether spanking or corporal punishment is a proper way to discipline growing up kids, but that’s for another discourse, another time.
The point being made here is that in traditional societies, it takes a whole village to raise a kid. The village is made up of all members of the community and compliance to the village or community norms is what keeps the village together.
This philosophy of communal living is even reflected in the form of the physical dwellings they had.
The design and set up, and the physical configuration of the village is premised on the concept of community living. That is the core principle behind the concept of the longhouse, whereby everyone is physically living under the same roof, sharing the same common space called the ruai in Iban and the tawaq in Kelabit.
For the Kelabits, even the kitchen area, where the family fireplace is located, is also connected by a common corridor that links every family’s unit along the entire length of the kitchen area of the longhouse. I recall walking along the kitchen corridor in the mornings to visit my aunties and uncles living to the left or right side of our family unit and would often end up having my breakfast with them, inevitably being asked to join them for a meal.
This idea or concept of communal living and helping each other is what makes us humans. In fact, it’s a natural law which we can see at work everywhere – in the animal kingdom, the birds, the fishes, the insects, and so on.
Even the plants also live in interconnected communities and are interdependent on each other.
There is a powerful book on this that I have read, and which I’d strongly recommend everyone to read it. After reading this book, you will never see trees and forests the same way again.
Please read the book, ‘The Hidden Life of Trees’ by Peter Wohlleben. You will be astonished about trees.
Which brings me to a pertinent posting on social media which I read about recently. To give the full impact, I will reproduce it below, as follows:
Quote
“A student once asked anthropologist Margaret Mead what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture.” The student expected the anthropologist to talk about hooks, clay bowls or sharpening stones, but no. Mead said the first sign of civilisation in an ancient culture is evidence of a person with a broken and healed femur. Mead explained that in the rest of the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You can’t escape danger, go to the river to drink water or hunt to feed yourself. You become fresh meat for predators. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal. A broken femur that healed is proof that someone took the time to stay with the one who fell, healed the wound, kept the person safe and cared for her until she recovered. “Helping someone through difficulties is the starting point of civilisation,” explained Mead. Civilisation is a community aid.”
Unquote
As explained by Mead, living in communities, and having a community living is the essence of being civilised. It’s what makes us humans or shows that we are humans. The adage “it takes a village to raise a child” is absolutely still true. But somewhere along the way, we’ve lost the “village” approach that we have started with, and which was what we actually needed to raise our kids in nurturing, creative, and safe environment.
In the nuclear family concept that is so prevalent in so called “modern living” style, we run the risk of families missing out on crucial learning experiences and much needed support systems that living in communities bring.
Furthermore, one can’t help but suspect that many parents feel isolated and alone in their struggles, to raise their kids and that kids in general don’t have the opportunity to engage with a diverse group of people and personalities in a safe and nurturing environment.
We have lost touch with one another, missing out on the benefits and blessings of living in closely knit communities. We are being dehumanised.
