All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.
— Oscar Wilde, Irish poet and dramatist
When my siblings and I were young, our mother used to advise us not to quarrel or fight with each other.
“Next time, when you grow up, you will not be able to meet each other if you don’t have money. This is because you will be living in different places.”
When we were young, there were six children in the family — two boys and four girls. We lived in Sibu town.
My two younger brothers used to fight with each other while my two younger sisters could not get on well with each other too. These were despite the fact that they all shared the same father and mother.
My elder sister and I were the only ones who did not fight or quarrel with each other. This was because my elder sister was an extrovert and seldom stayed at home. She played with friends outside. Meanwhile, I was a homebody and had no friends outside.
Now, decades later, my dear mother’s words of advice still rang in my ears.
What she said decades ago is very true. Brothers and sisters cannot meet each other if they don’t have money. They need money to board planes, buses or boats to visit each other.
My mother’s prediction that we would be living in different places also came true. I am now living in Kuching City while one of my brothers lives in Tatau. My elder sister, on the other hand, stays in Bintulu while one of my younger sisters resides in Johor.
Although the remaining younger sister also lives in Kuching City, I seldom see her.
However, like my parents, one of my younger brothers has passed away.
My mother’s words of advice came to mind yesterday morning as I sent my elder sister to Kuching International Airport to catch her flight back to Bintulu. With me was my younger sister from Johor.
Both sisters came to Kuching for our mother’s first death anniversary. The old lady passed away last year on March 1 of old age.
On March 1 this year, there was a small gathering cum dinner at my residence for close family members. Three of my sisters and all of my surviving brother’s sons came for the event. I also invited a few relatives from my mother’s side.
My elder sister was the official cook for the day and helping her were my sister from Johor and a relative. I was the official photographer and my job was to capture the dishes and guests for the day.
What made the gathering and dinner memorable were the food and the company. My elder sister, who’s a cook, whipped many delicious dishes. That day, we — the relatively poor cooks — asked her to prepare many kampung food including nangka muda masak lemak (jackfruit in coconut milk), daun ubi kayu masak lemak (tapioca leaves in coconut milk), batang pisang masak lemak (young banana trunk in coconut milk), ayam masak merah (chicken in spicy tomato sauce), ngo hiang (fried meat rolls), fried bee hoon and fried mee. We were tired of eating the usual Chinese food available in the shops.
We also placed a special order for ayam pansuh, a dish prepared by cooking chicken meat in a bamboo stalk, filled with water, seasonings and covered with tapioca leaves from the cassava plant.
There were also pizzas, Kentucky Fried Chicken, jellies and cakes as well as different kinds of drinks including beer.
Food and drinks were aplenty because my elder sister said we must eat and drink well, especially on a day when we remembered our dear mother.
Before the dinner, I thanked God for the blessings He had bestowed on my family members and relatives for the past one year. I thanked Him also for my mother’s smooth burial a year ago and prayed that He would have pity on
her soul and forgive her trespasses.
I also thanked all relatives who had kindly joined us for the gathering and dinner in memory of my dear mother.
The gathering and dinner also provided an opportunity for members of the Liong family to pose for a group photo together. Later, I shared the pictures with those who were unable to attend the event.
If only my mother could see how happy and close her children, grandchildren and relatives were that evening! Many came from near and far to honour her memory and pay tribute to her and ponder over her words of advice decades ago.
