Socialising in evenings to reinforce rapport

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When you’re warm and approachable, you don’t have to go up and talk non-stop to someone in a social situation. You just have to be open to the conversations you’re already having – and warm and receptive to the people you’re meeting.

– Karen Salmansohn, self-help book author

All the secondary schools where I served are boarding schools. Prior to serving in schools I was lecturing in Rajang Teachers College in Binatang (later changed to Bintangor) for nearly five years.

Starting with Sekolah Menengah Kerajaan Datuk Abdul Rahman Yaakob (SMK Sedaya) where I served as a young school principal aged 28 in 1983, I was then transferred to my alma mater SMK Saratok in 1985. Then I was moved to SMK Serian (two years), SMK Julau (a record seven years) and lastly SMK Lake, Bau (for three years).

I was residential in all the schools with the first two years as a bachelor sharing the magnificent wooden bungalow at the hill top of SMK Sedaya with two bachelors, one of whom was a young Aaron Ago Dagang (now Datuk and Kanowit MP) who was recruited by me in 1983.

My niece Sarai Kandau, who was a temporary teacher) stayed for a while there in 1984 prior to her training in Kedah.

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It was my intention to make the bungalow as a common gathering venue for occasions such as barbeque sessions involving teachers and school staff that were residential in the school in the evenings, especially weekends. I recall once (in 1984), it was used as Gawai Dayak gathering involving teachers, school staff and guests comprising local community leaders and friends.

Also in the group was then incumbent Ngemah assemblyman Joseph Kudi (now deceased) who came in slippers and left with an expensive Adidas pair of shoes – courtesy of my good self.

By the time I moved to Saratok, I was a married man but the principal quarters where we were staying were regularly filled with staff and teachers who enjoyed a drink or two plus barbequed meats. At times, we also met for poker involving some regulars comprising teachers and two or three other guests.

The poker and card games involved small bets and were more for fun than profit – most of the time there was free flow of drink, usually sponsored.

As my parents were still around then, they did spend a night or two with us and I made sure that dad was not alone with his favourite Guinness Stout as I would invite some of our senior staff – teaching and non-teaching ones – to accompany him with one or two helpings of barbeque chicken wings.

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For the two years in SMK Serian, I was acting principal for the second year but maintained the senior assistant’s quarters next to a few class two teachers’ quarters. With a seven-month old daughter, my wife and I would gather two or three other couples with their kids at our quarters or at times we would gather at our neighbour’s quarters for dinner and barbeque on weekends.

There were also gatherings of poker buddies in my quarters involving a popular Serian doctor with a private clinic in town.

It was in SMK Julau that there were regular gatherings of teachers in my bungalow. The backyard was walled but unroofed and spacy, good enough for gathering of 100. There I really discovered the wonder of having residential teachers and non-teaching staff including office workers, cooks, groundsmen as well as guards.

For any gathering involving school staff, the groundsmen were the first to arrive to prepare the items for the gathering. Our two groundsmen cum grasscutters on a few occasions were surprised but elated when I stopped by their working site (in the midst of grass cutting acts) and opened my car door to let them in for a ride to town where I belanja them noodle and coffee.

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It became a favourite topic in their conversations, I found out later. At least three times that I did such favour towards them.

Such favour was returned when I called them to help. They even came on non-working days to lend such help. I also made sure that those invited to the functions at my quarters comprised teachers of Chinese, Malay, Iban and Bidayuh origin as well as our two Indians colleagues.

This was to show no favouritism. I found such acts to be effective in strengthening rapport among colleagues.

Later when I was transferred to SMK Lake in Bau, I stayed in class two teachers’ quarters but used it a few nights a week but most of the time would commute from Kuching daily with my wife. During those evenings spent in school, we also held gatherings to socialise.

Such moments helped to strengthen rapport among teachers and support staff, thereby making boarding school truly a home for all residential teachers and supporting staff.

The views expressed here are those of the columnist and do not necessarily represent the views of New Sarawak Tribune.

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