YOU may have heard of conversations or phrases like ‘Don’t do life alone’ or ‘Life is meant to be lived in community’, and ‘Life is designed for connection’. While all of these phrases may hold true, the next question would be, ‘who do we reach out to’?
In this write up, we will unpack several understandings and contexts of the importance of community, creating safe spaces and intentionally offering help to one another.
Mental health is a real thing, and people generally struggle with mental health issues and the inability to call for help can be a scary experience.
New York Times bestselling author, Craig Groeschel, in his book ‘Winning the War in Your Mind: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life’, states that “Your mind is a battlefield, and the battle for your life is always won or lost in your mind”.
With that said, we live in a world where we are taught to ‘toughen it up’ or ‘suck it up’, however, this may not be the case for everyone and this can be an unhealthy belief system, which has created unhealthy environments in workplaces and homes.
There is also a possibility that this is a generational occurrence, where the older generation were told to remain silent and not express their feelings, and when their children grow older, this habit is passed down to the next generation.
How can we break this generational pattern? Because, the following generation may not agree with this as cultures evolve, and lifestyles will change.
So, what is a healthy environment and where do we go from here as a society to be able to express our emotions and thoughts without judgment?. How can we as a society ensure a person does not need to endure pain and suffer alone?
New Sarawak Tribune, interviewed a clinical psychologist, Hazel Saw from the Mental Health Association Sarawak (MHAS) to hear her thoughts and gain further information to facilitate mental health issues.
The National Health & Morbidity Survey 2022, Adolescent Health Survey 2022, states that 18.5 per cent of females have had more suicidal thoughts compared to males.
And 13.4 per cent of females had suicidal attempts compared to 5.7 per cent in males.
Based on the same survey, twice as many females as males felt depressed, showing 36.1 per cent compared to 17.7 per cent in males.
Factors of attempted and completed suicide
“From studies, we know that a lot attempt suicide. Females would have a higher (percentage) of attempted suicide.
“But, for men, they have a higher percentage of completed suicide. Mainly because of the methods they use,” Saw said.
According to her, generally a person’s well being is attributed to biological factors, social factors, psychological and also spiritual factors.
Saw explained that biological reasons may affect mental health conditions as they may cause chemical imbalances, neurochemical imbalances, and dementias also changes structures in the brain.
She said factors such as these could affect somebody’s decision making, especially hormonal changes; a person with high stress changes certain parts of a person’s hormones.
“Traumatic brain injuries, traumatic accidents, somebody experiencing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or traumatic experience of the past such as being abused, could impact the structure of the brain which may change somebody’s behaviour and mood. So genetics may also play a part. These are all biological factors,” she added.
While biological factors do affect psychological factors, psychological factors in itself such as cognitive processes, how we view the world, our flexibility to changes could contribute to our attitude toward suicidal behaviours. Individuals’ tendency to ruminate, age factors, psychological maturities can impact one’s decision in life according to Saw.
She added that social factors such as chaotic family backgrounds, conflictual relationship, as well as generational learned coping styles which may appear “common” to the particular person, may also contribute to mental health struggles.
“Maybe it’s also a learned behaviour, and that’s probably passed down and the individual may say ‘that’s how I cope’.
“Self harm behaviour may also occurred through influence by peers who may have used this as a method to cope before” she said.
However, Saw also pointed to a spiritual factor, adding the feelings of purpose and meaning where individuals seek identity by asking questions like ‘who am I?’ Which could affect someone’s behaviour.
“The interplay of these factors coming together may have affected one’s attitude toward suicide, thus impacting their decisions about taking their own lives.” she said.
She said many people commonly take their own life, not for the sake of wanting to die or end their life but more of ending a certain pain.
“A lot of the clients and the patients I encountered spoke about escaping their pain, or ending their struggles when they talked about suicide. These are some common themes that have come up in my experiences with suicidal patients.” she said.
Be equipped to make a change
Despite the increase in mental health awareness, there seems to be a negligence to discuss the topic in some cultures or status groups.
There is a lack of freedom to speak or express emotions which could be due to the lack of conversations surrounding mental health.
“It is important to not shy away, it can be a taboo. Generally, societies still view it (mental health) as being weak or deemed as ‘crazy’.
“Mental health is still looked at as something people frown upon,” she added.
Therefore, Saw said mental health should start and begin with everyone, including those in rural areas.
“Nurses in health clinics should normalise it, talk about it. Normalise these conversations, each and everyone of us can talk about it, even survivors can talk about it, those experiences are very powerful,” she expressed.
Speaking of mental health survivors, Saw said they represent those who are voiceless and hopeless, creating safe spaces for these conversations to happen in our society.
“I think it will be a long run, but I’m hoping these conversations can continue to happen.
“Not just those equipped with mental health education like the doctors, and medical professionals , but it could be implemented in education systems where children from young, they are already taught about ‘what is mental health’, ‘who can you talk to’ , ‘what kind of help you can seek’,’how do you tell you are not doing well mentally’.
“These are things I feel can only come from policy makers, and educators,” she said, stressing on the importance of normalising mental health awareness.
Thriving in community and connection
The underlying factor to this write up, has been how can we as a community build a safe space? And the most crucial aspect to a person’s development is to be surrounded by a healthy community.
“I personally am a big believer of community resilience. I feel that mental health is a community issue, as a community we should not take that lightly.
“Community resilience can really address some of these difficult issues pertaining to mental health in our society. I believe each of us can bring about positive impact to the mental health sphere if we are willing to,” she said.
An inspiring Saw is dedicated to advocate for mental health, and she stresses that community resilience can be built if a group of people are willing to share experiences and hold space to support one another.
She emphasises that, “we want to do it compassionately without judgement,” and according to her, that removes stigma.
“When you remove stigma, you create safe spaces then people can come forward saying ‘I need help’, ‘I need somebody to hear me out’, and that’s good enough.
“No need for solutions or professional training, just learning to connect with other human beings, sometimes it’s asking that person, how can I best support you,” she said.
Saw added that the best way to support someone is by listening and sitting with the person in their pain and struggle without being preoccupied about giving solutions.
She stressed that listening can also be one of the best solutions.
She, however, cautioned that it is also important to care of ourselves and create a safe space for ourselves as some things may get overwhelming and thus we must learn to communicate things through well.
“If society can have a little more empathy and compassion, this could contribute to building community resilience.”
“Sometimes mental health is really about listening, being okay not having a solution and trusting that the other person knows best what to do in their situation,” she said.
As a strong believer of community resilience, in the darkest times, Saw feels that having a community is very important.
“Even if you isolate yourself, they are going to come knocking on your door. To make sure you’re okay. Sometimes we don’t have the energy, sometimes we need someone else to give us that energy,” she stressed.
In relation to listening, she highlighted that it is also important to not take it lightly no matter the number of times a person expresses desire to end his or her life.
“whether this person had said it ten times, it is important to take each time seriously because we do not know which would be the time he or she meant it” she added.
Therefore, she again stressed the importance of being able to connect them to professional help because there are risks of hurting themselves or others.
“Always important to bring them to the emergency department, and tell them this person is suicidal and when you do it, don’t do it alone, get two to three people along,” she said, adding that it is important to be wise and connected to our own needs while supporting others.
Mental health services in organisations
With an increase of awareness, perhaps it is also time to recognise the importance of providing mental health services.
According to Saw, big organisations, especially the ones with advanced mental health policies, do offer mental health services.
“It could be a counsellor, somebody with training on mental health. This would be helpful.
“If organisations can make mental health support available, as much as possible, that would be great,” she said.
Due to the fast pace of work, especially when employees are swamped with work, Saw said it is also important making support systems available and accessible at work places but allow people to choose which creates a safe space.
“I do see big companies seeking mental health training. I do think awareness is increasing so I think it is a very good sign,” she said.
We’re all in this together
On June 6, a security guard’s heroic efforts in preventing a suicide attempt by a distressed mother of two took place in Wisma Saberkas. The security guard rushed up and managed to pull the woman away from the ledge of the parking lot.
Suhanum Sutimin, 28, told New Sarawak Tribune that it took about an hour to calm and console the victim and due to her courage, she was recognised and appreciated by the Wisma Saberkas Management Committee in a ceremony on July 14.
Now, this begs the question of whether mental health experts should offer training and assistance to government agencies and various organisations when such crises arise.
In response to the question, Saw said it would be more helpful to equip every person with learning how to identify signs and symptoms of someone crying for help.
While she agrees that offering training to government agencies and organisations is important, she also highlighted the significance of equipping people to identify basic signs and symptoms of a person who is in need of psychological support.
“If every person is equipped with some basic knowledge of signs and symptoms of mental health struggles, they can then detect when someone who is in their connection or circle is in need of psychological support.” she said.
Saw added the majority of people are aware of mental health struggles however, she pointed out that not many are equipped with detecting the signs and symptoms of a person struggling with mental health.
“Honestly, I feel what would be more helpful is also to equip every person with learning how to identify signs and symptoms of someone who is crying for help and in need of psychological support. I think that would be more important and powerful when each and everyone of us can function as a gatekeeper to the different people in our connections and communities.” she said.
With regards to mental health symptoms and signs, Saw said the biggest warning sign is when people start losing their functionality, such as when they isolate themselves more than usual.
“When functioning is affected, they really need to seek mental health professionals for support. However, if they experience physical symptoms that resulted in lost of functioning such as palpitations, it is always important to rule out biological reasons first. After being cleared that there are no biological reasoning behind it, then one can proceed on to seek professional mental health support,” she said.
