I have always been painfully shy. So shy sometimes that in certain social settings, I get tongue-tied, my palms get clammy and I don’t know what to say or do. It can get so awkwardat times when my shyness is mistaken for unfriendliness on my part.
I sometimes dream of walking into a room full of people I don’t know, go over to someone I don’t know, introduce myself and start a conversation.
The irony of it is that the jobs I have had require me to be like that person – to be able to walk in to a room and be comfortable with my surroundings.
My very first job was as the PR officer of a new hotel in town. As a fresh graduate, I came back home to join the opening team of the hotel.
My very first boss was a Singaporean lady, who led the Sales & Marketing team of the hotel as well as PR department. As the Director of Sales & Marketing, it was her job to oversee and manage sales staff and reservation to ensure maximum revenue, promotional coverage and marketing opportunities are achieved.
She was confident, aggressive and having worked in the industry for a long time, she had experience.
Then there was me.
As the PR officer, my job involved developing PR strategies and campaigns, preparing press releases and promotional material, building positive relationships with stakeholders, media and the public.
It was a job description for an outgoing, gregarious person – an extrovert.
So you can imagine how I felt the first time I had to attend a social event in the hotel and mingle with people.
Imagine the panic that would soar through my body whenever I had to host VIPs, stakeholders, celebrities, politicians, tourists from abroad and locally, and perhaps the media. It was in my job scope to meet and greet these guests and a lot of the times, bring them on a tour of the hotel.
I often wondered if I had inherited this shyness from my parents. However, when I think about it, my father was the opposite. He thrived in social situations.
He could start a conversation with someone he had just met with complete ease. As for my mother, her role as the wife of a politician has taught her to adapt to social situations.
My siblings are also good in social settings and being surrounded by people they don’t know very well is not a big problem for them.
My husband is a very sociable person and has this ability to engage in conversations with total strangers.
As for my son, he has taken after his father (luckily for him because I wouldn’t want to wish my shyness on him).
But overtime, I learned that being shy does not mean I was weak or couldn’t handle certain situations. It didn’t mean that I was completely lost with my ways around other people. Being shy was part of me and I had to learn that there was nothing wrong with being shy. I simply had to overcome it.
By the time I went to work in the media, I learned that my shyness was not necessarily a bad thing.
To quote Marco Battaglia who said, “Shyness is simply a human difference, a variation that can be a form of richness.” So as a shy person, here are some reasons why being shy can be a good thing.
1. Shy people are more insightful. Being shy gives you the opportunity to understand people more deeply. Shy people are good at observing others in a social setting. It comes naturally to them. It allows them to gain larger insight into the behavior, motivations and minds of those around them.
This is acquired through silence and reflection. They have empathy. This is a skill shy people.
2. Shy people are naturally more attentive and are good listeners. In a social setting, they tend to be cautious and think before they speak.
They are more considerate and polite to other people. Being courteous is of big importance to them. In other words, they treat others how they would want to be treated.
3. A strong suit for a shy person is their independence. Most of the time, they can handle things by themselves without someone else’s help. They are essentially self-sufficient. The value of hard work is important to them and they strive to do the best they can. They can be reliable and to “hang on” in difficult situations.
4. Overcoming barriers is something shy people are often good at overcoming. Because they more resilient than most, they are capable of adjusting to their surroundings, even in uncomfortable situations.
Given his or her situation, someone who is shy knows how to battle and endure. They know how to fight for what they think is right. In other words, shy people are generally strong people.
5. Perhaps one of the best qualities of a shy person is their ability to have lasting friendships. It is not because they know how to handle social situations or they are experts on the art of making friends. After all, this is exactly what a shy person is not good at. It is simply because they know how to value relationships.
I am not saying that I am all of the above but I do identify with most of these reasons.
It isn’t easy being shy by nature. But I like to look on the bright side and remember that it is okay to be shy.
