Open house to show off or forge closer ties?

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"Open House" held during the month of Syawal is a good opportunity to meet up with relatives, friends and neighbours from far and near. Photo: MMA

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I was waiting for my turn to be served at a lemang stall in Hulu Langat, Selangor, when I overheard some customers complaining about how some urban people have forgotten the real reason why open houses are held during festivals.

One of them grumbled to the stall owner that some hosts were using their open house functions as a platform to show off their wealth and prove to their guests that their buffet spread is the best in town.

In terms of the menu, serving just traditional delicacies like ‘nasi impit’ and lemang and items like fried meehoon, laksa and curry mee is just not enough for them.

“Since I started selling lemang, I’ve been meeting all kinds of people during the month of Syawal. I find it strange when some strive to show off through their extravagant menu even though they can’t afford to pay for it.

“They want grilled lamb, satay and ‘ayam golek’ in their menu but don’t have the budget for such items. Just the grilled lamb alone costs RM950,” said the owner of the lemang stall.

It has become the norm for open houses to be held a week after Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Whether it is hosted by a company, leader or individual, the real reason for having an open house is to strengthen relationships and friendships.

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“Open House” held during the month of Syawal is a good opportunity to meet up with relatives, friends and neighbours from far and near. Photo: MMA

The weekends during Syawal are usually packed with open houses and some of us may receive four or five invitations for the same day. Some hosts have their functions in the morning so as not to clash with other open houses.

A typical open house would normally be held at the host’s residence with the guest list comprising family members, relatives and friends.

The well-heeled would choose to have their open houses at luxury hotels or large halls. Some would put up tents in the garden of their homes, making their open house look like a wedding feast.

It is not much of a problem for those who can afford to throw a lavish open house, I heard one of the customers telling the stall owner, but it becomes an issue when they are only pretending to be rich. (I gathered from their conversation that the customer’s name was Zamri and that he was a caterer.)

“This is the problem with our community. I’ve been in the catering field for more than 20 years and I’ve met all kinds of urbanites who don’t have the budget but still want to show off.

“It is easy to deal with people who are born wealthy or have been rich for a long time. But I do have a problem with those who are still in the process of becoming rich – these people want a lavish function because, according to them, VIPs are attending but they don’t have the budget for it and keep asking me to reduce the prices,” Zamri complained.

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According to Zamri, more often than not, grilled lamb is on the top of the menu these “wannabes” wish to serve their guests. Usually, the lamb is roasted outside the main entrance to the residence and this itself boosts their self-pride, he said.

Continued Zamri: “The month of Syawal brings good income for caterers. But I get a headache when I have to deal with people like this. Our costs have increased too, so how to give them a discount?”

The conversation between Zamri and the lemang stall owner reminded me of a workshop I attended early this year on financial planning after retirement, conducted by financial consultant Shamsuddin Abdul Kadir.

Shamsuddin spoke about, among other things, the tendency for some people to host fancy open houses even though they lacked the financial means to do so.

Sharing the experience of a person who had attended one of his previous workshops, the consultant said the man had used his credit card to pay for all his purchases, including branded plates and cutlery and an expensive cake, for his open house. In the end, he found himself saddled with credit card debts, which would take him 10 years to settle.

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I am sure many people out there have similar stories to share. It is sad when people pretend to be rich and live beyond their means. Some people never seem to learn from their past experiences as they keep borrowing from ‘Ah Longs’ to fund their festive spending.

The question is, is such an attitude worthwhile? Is it necessary for us to spend extravagantly just to celebrate during Syawal and then face the repercussions later?

Islam advocates moderation in everything we do and this includes the hosting of open houses.

Although it is not compulsory for Muslims to have open houses, the concept itself is a good one as it is an opportunity for the hosts to meet up with their relatives from far and near. It also strengthens the bond of friendship between the hosts and their neighbours and friends of all races.

Whether it is held on a grand or moderate scale, an open house serves the same purpose, namely to provide a platform for people to reunite after having been busy with their own lives the whole year. – Bernama

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