A mother’s love is like nothing else in the world. It is strong and gentle, loud and quiet, protecting and releasing one thing in one moment and another in the next moment. It changes with a child’s needs, but is always there, unmoving.
Learning to accept
A mother’s love knows no bounds. Warm, tender, gentle and care — a mother’s love embodies all the feelings she has offered to the ones she calls her children.
And such is the same for a mother, Nority Bujeng and her 17-year-old son Darren Goh Jian Cheng. Despite being a single mother, Nority persevered and had brought up the autistic Darren to the man he is today.
According to the 43-year-old Nority, her son Darren was diagnosed with autism in the same year she separated from her husband. “He had a delay in speech until he was seven. Even today, the way he speaks is different compared to others.”
Flashback to 2007, Nority was a young mother with no experience of raising an autistic child alone.
“It was tough for me back then. I had limited income and was not able to send my son to a proper school. I had to pay for my rent, my car and take care of Darren’s needs. Sometimes, I skipped my own meals just so Darren can have his.”
Because of his disability, Darren was always frowned upon and labelled as mentally ill. “This was due to his different behaviour. During that time, autism was not really known. He was also often bullied in school.”
Resilient, Nority managed to get back on her feet after six long years. However, she still bears the brunt of being a single mother, “Until today, the society still stigmatised single mothers or a divorcee. I was even discriminated against in college after my divorce.”
However, her only motivation was her son. “He is the one that needs me the most in life, and that kept me going. Every time I feel sad, I always remind myself of Darren,” she said.
Acceptance, she believed, is important in life. Nority revealed that, when she started to accept the failure of her marriage and started to accept that Darren has a disability, she finds that, “Life is actually not as tough as I think it is.”
According to Nority, Darren is a gentle, kind and well-behaved boy. She recalled a memory in 2011 when Darren was seven. “I broke my right foot and was not able to walk and work for two months.
The inseparable Nority and her son Darren. 
The inseparable Nority and her son Darren.
He took care of me, made me breakfast, cleaned the house,and did the laundry. For that, I am forever proud of him.”
He continued to make a heartwarming presence in Nority’s life, “In 2018, when I got my first brainstem stroke, he woke up every morning at 6am to prepare my breakfast so that I could take my medication.”
Due to the illness, Nority lost 80 percent of her eyesight that year. Darren became her eyes, “He helped me on my toilet breaks, and to bath until my vision got better.”
A blessing in disguise, the proud single mother shared despite Darren’s disabilities,
“I know for sure, I can rely on him when I am sick one day. God did not give me a son, but he sent me an angel.”
“I want to share with every single mother out there, especially the one with an autistic child to care for. It can be hard, but having an autistic child is a big gift from above,” said Nority.
Nority urges mothers to always be proud of their children whether they are born with a disability or not. “We should consider ourselves lucky to be able to experience the opportunity to raise special individuals.”
