By Vanessa Denise Giang
Being a first-time mother is a truly transformative experience unlike any other. It is filled with happiness, obstacles, and self-discovery.
The extraordinary journey of first-time mothers begins with the discovery of a double line on a pregnancy stick. They would then spend their time reading books and learning how to prepare for the arrival of their bundle of joy. Some might opt for prenatal classes and guidance from experienced mothers about childbirth and what comes next.
The emotional rollercoaster caused by pregnancy hormones and the approaching reality of motherhood induces a variety of emotions, including happiness, fear, and self-doubt.
The experience of feeling the baby’s movements and hearing its heartbeat fuels the journey, which gradually establishes a strong emotional bond between the mother and the unborn child.
Being a first-time mother is never easy. It is an emotional roller coaster for the mother and those around her. Regardless of the difficulties, the labour and delivery experience becomes a story about courage and the remarkable capacity to love.
The mother is met by the gaze of a new soul, which follows the beginning of a sense of compassion and shared existence as the boundless possibilities of a love that will develop over a lifetime.
Valerie Giang, who became a mother at the age of 29, shared a glimpse of her life with her eight-month-old baby boy, Owen. She admits to being surprised, but quickly prepares for such a life-changing experience.
Books were given to her, and her mother and sister-in-law shared knowledge to help her understand the process of having a baby and what happens after. She credits her husband for being by her side every step of the way.
“To be honest, I was not prepared for anything, even though I had always known I wanted to be a mum,” said Valerie.
When asked how motherhood has changed her, she said that it has given her a greater sense of responsibility and a constant concern for her child’s wellbeing.
“Mentally, I’m always paranoid and wondering if I’m doing everything right. Despite this, motherhood opened my eyes to a bigger picture of what it is like to care for another human being and watch them grow each day,” she said
Valerie, as a stay-at-home mother, would mostly be responsible for child care and household chores.
Nevertheless, Valerie’s motherhood challenges helped her to establish deeper and more meaningful relationships with her loved ones, especially her husband. They would carry out tasks together, with her sister assisting as needed. She emphasises the importance of having a strong support system.
“The most difficult part of being a first-time mum is handling everything on your own. So, while my husband is at work, I will be caring for my baby. Not to mention trying to keep the house clean, the laundry in check, and cooking for the family. When things became too much for me, I would occasionally ask my sister for help,” she said.
When asked the advice she has for aspiring mothers, she said, “Never let others tell you what is right or wrong, trust your instincts as a mother, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.”
Valerie emphasises decision-making and the importance of a mother’s intuition.
Parenting advice abounds in this world, and it is up to an individual to trust their own gut while resisting the opinions of others. This makes motherhood a personal experience, and many people need to understand that not every mother should follow the same advice.
Valerie emphasises “maternal instinct” as a guide to raising a child, which helps build a stronger bond between them. This maternal instinct serves as a compass, directing choices through the challenging terrain of parenthood.
Furthermore, it empowers the mother because acknowledging and developing this trust is essential for creating a loving environment for the child.
Seeking help is also important when raising a child. Motherhood, with all of its challenges, cannot be navigated alone.
The importance of asking for help whenever necessary is emphasised, helping prospective mothers in remembering that showing vulnerability is a strength rather than a weakness.
Acknowledging one’s need for assistance, whether from experienced mothers, partners, or a supportive community, accentuates the perception that no one should have to carry the burden of motherhood alone.
When a mother and her child experience unconditional love, they create an enduring and profound emotional bond. It is a beautiful journey that will last a lifetime.
As first-time mothers negotiate the delicate balance of providing for their children while also managing other aspects of their lives such as work, relationships, and personal wellbeing, they develop a skill for prioritising.
Once a first-time mother has adapted to her baby’s needs, she eventually learns the valuable skill of trusting her instincts.
We all come from our mothers as we bear witness to their sacrifices over the years, and it is undoubtedly true that a mother is a shining example of true love.
• This article was written by a student from the Strategic Communication Programme at the Faculty of Education, Language and Communication, UNIMAS.
