BY IDA NADHIRAH
Book title: Surrounded by Vampires: Or, How to Slay the Time, Energy and Soul Suckers in Your Life
ISBN: 9781785043994
Author: Thomas Erikson
Publisher: Penguin Random House UK
Publication year: 2023
Price: RM62.90
I think books are like people, in the sense that they’ll turn up in your life when you most need them.
– Emma Thompson
Do you ever feel both physically and emotionally tired after engaging with some individuals? Are those colleagues who drone on during meetings, pals who continuously whine, or family members who make you feel responsible for their problems? If so, Thomas Erikson’s “Surrounded by Vampires: Or, How to Slay the Time, Energy, and Soul Suckers in Your Life” could be your weapon of choice.
Erikson, a behavioural expert and author of the best-selling “Surrounded by Idiots”, employs the vampire metaphor to characterise these energy-sucking people. He contends that, like legendary animals, these “vampires” deplete your time, energy, interest, and emotional resources. The book’s scope extends beyond external forces. Erikson recognises that negative self-talk and unproductive practices can also be viewed as “vampires” threatening our wellbeing.
When I read this book for the first time, it really resonated with me because I can feel that my energy can be drained sometimes. I just realised that it’s because of several people that I meet in my life who give me negative energy.
The book focuses on identifying and dealing with four categories of energy vampires. Firstly, Time Vampires: these are the people who constantly overshare, hijack meetings, and can’t seem to get to the point. They make you feel angry and behind schedule. Secondly, Energy Vampires: these are the people who are constantly complaining, causing drama, and attracting negativity. They weigh you down with their negativity and emotional baggage.
Next are Attention Vampires: the braggarts, know-it-alls, and those who seek continual confirmation. They make you feel voiceless and unseen. Finally, Vampire Habits: the self-deprecating beliefs, procrastinating tendencies, and unhealthy habits that undermine your happiness and productivity.
Erikson uses the DISC behavioural model, which was popularised in his previous work, to better classify these vampires. This paradigm categorises personalities into four colours: dominant (Red), influential (Yellow), steady (Green), and conscientious (Blue). The book demonstrates how each colour type is more vulnerable to distinct vampire methods. For example, Yellow personalities who cherish harmony may be easily depleted by a dominant Red vampire, but Green personalities who avoid conflict may become targets for egotistical Blue personalities.
Erikson doesn’t suggest complete separation from these energy drainers. Instead, he provides practical tips for managing relationships and minimising their impact. This includes establishing limits, employing aggressive communication strategies, and prioritising your own wellbeing.
In my opinion, the book is packed with real-life examples, self-assessments, and practical exercises that help you identify your energy vampires and develop personalised coping mechanisms. Erikson emphasises the importance of self-awareness, encouraging readers to recognise their own tendencies towards negativity or people-pleasing, which might unintentionally attract vampires.
“Surrounded by Vampires” is written in an engaging and understandable tone. Erikson’s light-hearted approach makes the often-complex subject of interpersonal relations familiar and interesting. While the book is mainly based on behavioural psychology, it avoids being excessively academic.
However, while reading the book, I occasionally felt that the vampire metaphor was overused. Furthermore, the book focuses mostly on individual coping strategies. While it concedes the difficulties of influencing others’ behaviour, a more in-depth examination of managing toxic business cultures or setting boundaries with challenging family members could have provided more insight.
Overall, “Surrounded by Vampires” is an excellent resource for anyone exhausted by negative interactions. Erikson’s practical techniques and straightforward explanations help readers reclaim their time, energy, and emotional wellbeing.
I highly recommend acquiring and reading this book. Whether you’re dealing with workplace gossip or your own inner critic, this book provides a road map for cultivating stronger and more meaningful relationships with yourself and others.
