Although hard, go on we must

Since April 9, 2021, when her husband and the Duke of Edinburgh Prince Philip, 99, died, all the eyes of the world have been focusing on Queen Elizabeth II of Great Britain.

Prince Philip had spent nearly eight decades beside the queen after first serving in the Royal Navy.  The royal couple married when the queen was just 21 years old and Prince Philip 26 in 1947. He had been the queen’s support in public and the person who knew her best in private.

The couple celebrated their 73rd wedding anniversary in November last year and had been living largely in isolation at Windsor Castle, west of London.

Many wonder how the 94-year-old monarch will go on in life after the love of her life and, in her own words, her “strength and stay all these years” left her.

Will Queen Elizabeth abdicate in favour of her eldest son, Prince Charles, or will she continue to serve as Britain’s longest serving monarch until the end of her life?

No matter how hard the queen finds it to go on after Prince Philip is gone, she has to go on with her life. The rest of her life will depend on the decisions she makes. No doubt, she will have plenty of help from her big pool of wise stately advisors.

As human beings, we — like Queen Elizabeth — all have to go through the pains of losing someone we love in life unless of course, we were born orphans or had been left abandoned in the streets when we were babies.

While we bear our sufferings and pains in life away from public eyes, all eyes are on the queen as she grieves for her dear husband.

Personally, I think Her Majesty is one lucky lady. Hers was a marriage based on love. She fell in love with Prince Philip when she was only 13 and he, 18. She married him when she was 21; some tabloids have described their love story as an epic love story.

When Queen Elizabeth became the Queen of England at the age of 25 after the premature death of her father King George VI, Prince Philip became her consort.

In love, not many people are as lucky as Queen Elizabeth. Many marriages break up after years of apparent bliss initially. Many of the queen’s own children, for instance, have suffered from broken marriages. Some people choose to stay single all their lives because they cannot find their soulmates and will not settle for second best.

As I have mentioned numerous times in my column before, life on earth is temporary. To live as long as Prince Philip or as long as Queen Elizabeth is a blessing indeed. It is even rarer to have loved as deeply as they did.

Despite her advanced age, the queen is so alert mentally and healthy physically that she puts many people who are decades younger than her to shame. I wonder what her secret to long life is.

In life, I have attended the funerals of many people who were only in their late 30s or early 40s.

Coping with the death someone we love is never easy. We are used to seeing them every day and one day, suddenly, they are gone forever and we are alone, grieving for them. My family members, for instance, are still grieving for my mother who died less than two months ago at the age of 83.

I lost a younger brother about 20 years ago. Frankly speaking, I cannot remember how I coped with his sudden death. It was hard but over time, the heartache went away and my family members went on with their lives.

It is only now — when I am so much older — that I realise those of us with complicated grief resulting from the death of a loved one can seek help from professional healthcare providers.

Experts say that losing a spouse — like Queen Elizabeth right now — can be devastating. Coping with the aftermath of loss often leaves one lonely and confusing. They suggest those who have just lost their spouses reach out to other people in their lives, like family members, friends, religious community or counsellors, for help.

I have no doubt that is what Queen Elizabeth will do as she grieves for the love of her life, Prince Philip. Although it is hard, Her Majesty will get on with her life, serving the people to the best of her ability.