Bedridden single mom of five children soldiers on

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Fatimah interact with Kamira's children. Photo: Mohd Alif Noni

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KUCHING: Being bedridden does not make Nor Karmira Benny Karmilan give up on life.

The single mother of five said she could not feel her right leg due to a slipped disc she suffered in August last year.

“Although I’m bedridden, I don’t depend on others solely. When I’m able to, I would try to practice walking, getting up or even exercise as advised by the doctor.”

The 26-year-old Karmira is cared for by her mother. She said when her mother or other members of the family are not around, she would try her best to get up to go to the toilet instead of not trying at all.

“Usually, I would practice walking when my children are asleep as I don’t want them to be worried or to disturb them.”

The house that Karmira currently resides in is a double-storey house with a small front yard.

“This house that I am staying in is occupied by my mother, stepfather, and my three other siblings.

“They rent the second floor while I rent the first floor for myself and my children. The rent per month is RM300.”

She hoped to be able to own her own house one day. “I hope that once I get back on my feet, I will be able to work and buy my own house. At the very least, when I’m gone one day, my children will have their own place.”

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“Speaking from experience, renting is not easy, especially when there’s a pandemic. Many have lost their jobs and are having financial problems. When we have our own house, the hardships of my children needing to pay rent monthly will not be there,” she said.

Karmira said she tried to apply for housing loan but was unsuccessful.

“Before I became bedridden, I used to work three jobs a day. In the morning I would work as a house cleaner while from the afternoon till evening, I would arrange stock in a shop and after that till late night, I would work somewhere else.

“Of course in between, I would cook and pack my children their food for school as well as help them with their homework. The most sleep I get per day is two hours.”

The lack of rest took a toll on her body. She fell down one day while arranging stock. At first, she thought nothing of it and kept on working until it became unbearable.

“The doctor told me that the lack of rest worsened my condition. When I asked them if I was able to get better, they could not promise me a 100 per cent recovery as it takes time and depends on my antibody.

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“They also said that if none of the medication and treatment worked, I would have to undergo surgery to remove my third lumbar spine vertebra. Even after the surgery, it’s still not a guarantee that I’m able to walk as I used to. The least it can do is to ease the pain that I’m suffering.”

When asked if her children understood her current situation, she said although they were still small, they understood.

“I’m thankful that my children understands. They are a blessing. They listen, keep themselves out of trouble, and are not naughty.

“They often help their grandmother. Sometimes, they would also serve me my meals.”

Her five children comprise two girls and three boys aged 10, nine, seven, six and five respectively.

“My seven-year-old son suffers from a spine problem. His spine is shaped like an S and he is also asthmatic.”

Although Karmira’s mother takes care of her and her children, she still needed to look for income for herself and her children.

“My mother helps me mentally and physically. Being bedridden is no joy so she would always motivate me every now and then. However, when it comes to money, she is unable to help.

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“I’ve four siblings and as the eldest, I have two other younger siblings who are still schooling. The youngest is 15 years old.”

Although Karmira is incapable of doing any physical work, she tries to make ends meet as a dropship agent.

“For now, I’m working as a dropship agent for things like make-up, clothes and food. It is the least I can do while being bedridden as all I need is to be active on social media using my phone.

“For example, if the product that I advertised costs RM20, the seller would pay me RM3 or RM5. My pay will be banked in every week after the seller accumulates my sales for the week.”

She related that her husband left her when she was pregnant with their youngest child.

Before her unfortunate mishap, she had worked diligently to support her family on her own for five years.

Recently, Welfare, Community Wellbeing, Women, Family and Childhood Development Minister Datuk Seri Fatimah Abdullah visited Karmira twice.

On Friday (March 5), Fatimah and members of other agencies donated various items, including new mattresses and pillows, as well as repainted their room, cleaned up the house, and much more.

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