By Nurfarahin Oki
Book title: All This Time
ISBN: 9781534466357
Authors: Mikki Daughtry and Rachael Lippincott
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
Publication year: 2020
Price: RM49.90
Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this. – Dave Eggers
Dreams often feel better than reality, but there are times when the two “worlds” collide.
This 44-chapter romance story touches on friendship, acceptance, and a hint of fairy tales.
As a fan of romance stories like “Me Before You” and “Five Feet Apart”, I stumbled upon this book by the same author as “Five Feet Apart”.
It begins with a car accident involving Kyle and his girlfriend, Kimberly, which tragically results in Kimberly’s death.
This is the first heartbreak, where I always wonder how people move on after the death of their loved ones.
It turns out they always carry guilt and grief, feeling unfair that they are still alive and moving forward.
Those who experience loss often ask themselves, “Why them? Why not me?”
Kyle’s grief and guilt have led him to lock himself in his room, avoiding human interaction, including with his mum.
He then decided to visit his girlfriend’s cemetery after months of distancing himself from the outside world.
This decision was partly influenced by his best friend, Sam, who made him realise that not everything revolves around him.
Kyle, Sam, and Kimberly had always been a trio, so Sam was also suffering after Kimberly’s death.
At the cemetery, Kyle met Marley for the first time and felt as if something was drawing him to her.
Marley had similar guilt to Kyle’s, blaming herself for her twin’s death, and they both begin to heal each other’s wounds.
Initially, Kyle felt like he was betraying Kimberly, but his mum convinced him that he should start living his own life.
The book takes a twist in the middle where they nearly reach their happy ending, only for Kyle to realise he was dreaming.
He wakes up from a coma to find Kimberly still alive, and the “real world” suddenly feels fake to him while his “dream” becomes his reality.
I was confused by my own feelings when I reached that part of the book.
Should I be happy that Kimberly is still alive? But it is sad that Marley is not real.
Imagine how heartbreaking it must be to fall in love with someone only to realise it was all a dream.
Kyle tried his best to convince everyone that everything is real and that Marley exists, but no one believes him.
How can he love someone who is not real?
It does sound strange. How can someone fall in love while in a vegetative state?
But somehow, we can still hear, smell, and feel what is happening in the “real world” while we are unconscious.
I also started to be convinced that Marley is not real when there were only a few chapters left before the book finished.
But just as Kyle was about to give up his search for Marley, he saw her in the hospital courtyard.
Marley is real.
She was the one who had been talking to Kyle while he was in a coma, and all those conversations are written in Marley’s yellow notebook.
At first, Marley refused and pretended not to know Kyle because she thought she should not be happy.
She still blames herself for her twin’s death.
Kyle realises that in the “real world”, Marley is still not healed from her grief, so he decides to slowly help Marley let go of the past, just as he did in the “dream world”.
There is so much to talk about regarding this book, especially Kyle’s character development as he spends one year in his dream while being in a coma for eight weeks, Sam’s feelings for Kimberly that he needs to hide for Kyle’s sake, and how hard Kyle searches for Marley through Facebook, Instagram, and even news articles.
The book turns out beautifully towards the end when they all finally achieve their own happy endings, free from their guilt and grief.
It is suitable for people who are grieving and healing from the loss of someone they loved, as well as for those who enjoy cute teenage love stories.
One of my favourite lines from the book is, “I travelled many roads to find this lost treasure, this piece of me, but it was you who found it and returned it to me. Now I wish to give it to you,” which I felt was the most beautiful line in the book.
