KUCHING: In wanting to save her marriage, Shareene is willing to allow her body to be hurt.
This include being physically and mentally abused.
Never once did divorce cross her mind due to love and desire to retain her family.
However, one day., the marriage that had lasted for seven years finally came to an end.
Finally, Shareene found the strength to escape from ‘hell’ and report the domestic violence to the authorities.
The 35-year-old, who was six months pregnant then, freed herself by taking a bus to seek help at the Sarawak Social Welfare Department and end her suffering.
The single mother of two children aged six and 10 once tried to kill herself because she thought there was no point in living.
“But God wanted me to live,” she said, adding that she realised that taking her own life was wrong according to the teachings of Islam.
Pregnant with second child
Recalling her past experiences, Shareene said, “I didn’t know where to go because my world revolved round my home. Besides, I was pregnant with my second child.
“If I returned to my mother’s house in Petra Jaya, my husband could follow me.
“Tired of being abused, I decided to call the Talian Nur line after watching a Wanita Hari Ini (WHI) programme on domestic violence,” she said.
Shareene, who now runs her own business, said, “At the shelter, I had some peace of mind and a good night’s sleep.
“The next morning, there was no cursing and no kicks from my husband. No one even knew where I lived.
“At the shelter, they are very friendly. Living there for three months really restored my confidence. The residents are skilled in activities that can generate income,” she said.
There, she got to know women who were in dire straits besides attending counselling sessions with volunteers who consisted of social workers.
Nearly arrested twice
Shareene and another victim of violence, Nabila, are among the women who have been saved from physical and mental abuse by the Sarawak Social Welfare Department.
Nabila, 36, from Simunjan, used to have three children but
her youngest child has died due to an accident.
She said she was nearly arrested twice by police for begging near a town area.
“I had to do it because there was no money to support my children. My husband abuses me physically and mentall. Being kicked and having my body slammed against the wall and the floor … I have experienced all these.
“My son was taken and placed in a child shelter in Kuching and I was advised to contact the Welfare Department for help,” she said.
Shelter is safe
After Nabila made a police report, she was referred to the Sarawak General Hospital (SGH) for an official medical report.
There, doctors confirmed that she suffered head, brain and liver injuries caused by physical abuse.
“There, I learnt about the protection of abuse victims by the Welfare Department. I felt so welcomed when I arrived at the shelter. The staff were friendly and women who suffered the same fate were glad to chat with me.
“The shelter is a safe place, it’s easy to adapt there and and the best thing is that no one knows it’s a shelter for women and children,” she said.
When asked why she persevered even though she was often abused, Nabila said,” I did not know anything about women’s rights. I was afraid to act and felt my husband would change and that we would become a good couple. Besides, we had lived together for years.
“At the shelter, we were given accommodation, food and drinks. There were also health checks, cooking and sewing classes,” she said.
After one month, Nabila began to look for a house to rent. But her ties with the shelter and Welfare Department remained.
“Help is given to my children who are now seven and eight years old. They have been adopted. There is a WhatsApp group where we keep in touch and complain about problems,” she said.
In 2022, it was estimated that nine per cent of Malaysian women were victims of abuse by their husbands or partners, and the number is increasing.
Therefore, the need for guidelines is important to save more victims.
Those who survived the relationship might gradually try to restore their self-esteem.
In the aftermath of the relationship, survivors might benefit from creating a non-judgemental support network, engaging in self-care, and speaking with a mental health expert.
Domestic Violence describes any act of direct or indirect violence or abuse (including acts of coercion or preventing the other person’s access to their rights) that is used by someone within the domestic sphere to exercise power and control over another. It can include but is not limited to physical, sexual, psychological, verbal, emotional, and financial abuse.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone, regardless of age, social background, gender, religion, sexuality or ethnicity.
Domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence, occurs between people in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse and threats of abuse.
Abuse by a partner can happen to anyone, but domestic violence is most often directed toward women. Domestic violence can happen in heterosexual and same-sex relationships.
Abusive relationships always involve an imbalance of power and control. An abuser uses intimidating, hurtful words and behaviours to control a partner.
It might not be easy to identify domestic violence at first. While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, abuse often starts subtly and worsens over time.
Sometimes domestic violence begins or increases during pregnancy. Domestic violence puts your health and the baby’s health at risk. The danger continues after the baby is born.
