KUCHING: A wife, mother, philanthropist, fashionista, a cancer survivor.
This is a story about the hardworking, bubbly, and high-spirited Datin Dayang Mariani Abang Zain, who never stops going – and giving.
The 66-year-old mother of three boys and one girl is a woman of strength and resilience, having fought and survived breast cancer. Her journey and her determination to overcome the disease indeed is an inspiration to many.
Despite the initial shock of being diagnosed with Stage 2B breast cancer on Hari Raya eve in 2010, she refused to let the disease defeat her.
“When I found out about the news, I was stunned. So my husband and I went home in silence.
“Once we arrived home, I went upstairs to our house, and cried. However, I was pretty positive that I could get through this.
“Having positive thinking is very important and I told myself that I was going to be well,” she said.
She underwent a lumpectomy and endured 33 cycles of radiotherapy and six cycles of chemotherapy.
Her journey was not without its challenges, including a dislodged chemo pod that caused a blood clot, but she persevered through it all.
In order to seek treatment, she had to go to a specialist centre in Kuala Lumpur. During the treatment procedure, she went into an unconscious state for three days in the intensive care unit (ICU).
She recalls seeing a glaringly bright light, which made her wonder if she was going to die. She was unsure of what was happening to her. However, her husband’s voice calling out to her made her wake up from her unconscious state.
“I could hear a calling, I heard my husband calling ‘Hun, hun, wake up, wake up. That was when the light that I saw went off and I woke up,” she said.
As a result of the chemotherapy and radiation exposure, she also experienced bone loss in both her legs.
Mariani’s battle with cancer was a challenging time for her, but she never let it stop her from living her life to the fullest. During her radiotherapy and chemotherapy period, while others might have stayed at home, she decided to travel instead, either for leisure or work.
To some, her decision to travel while undergoing radiotherapy and chemotherapy might seem crazy, but for Mariani, it was a form of therapy.
She found comfort in packing and unpacking, discovering new places, food, and cultures.
For her, traveling takes her mind off the treatments and the pain, and continues to maintain a positive outlook and a fighting spirit.
Taking a trip down memory lane
Mariani was born to caring Teochew parents, but was subsequently raised by a Malay family.
Despite being of Teochew descent, she identifies more with her Malay family due to the way she was raised in a Muslim Malay family..
“My real father and adopted father are good friends. But I’m very thankful for my adopted parents because they love me unconditionally,” she said.
Her parents placed great importance on education and ensured that Mariani received a good education.
She attended St Mary’s School for her secondary education and then moved on to complete her Form Six at St Thomas’s School in Kuching.
During the waiting period for her Form Six results, she taught at St. Mary’s School for a year in 1977. Later on, in 1979, she was hired as a public relations officer at the Holiday Inn, before joining the Sarawak Economic Development Corporation (SEDC) where she and her team established the PR department.
Eventually, Mariani decided to pursue a degree and went to the University of Hawaii. She majored in Business Administration and minored in retailing.
During her time there, she was socially active – participating and organising events such as mini fashion shows showcasing Malaysia’s traditional costumes of the various races and ethnicities.
She also served as the International Student Organisation president at the University of Hawaii, where she and her fellow classmate also started the Fort Street Mall Procession.
While studying in Hawaii, Mariani met her husband, Datuk Prof Khairuddin Abd Hamid (now the University of Technology Sarawak (UTS) vice chancellor), who was pursuing a Masters in Electrical & Electronic.
They returned to Kuching to get married before moving to the United Kingdom where Khairuddin took his PhD and Mariani took her Master of Business Administration (MBA) at the University of Essex. They had a child during their time in the UK.
Mariani was also involved in the International Women’s Society for Post Grads’ Spouse at the university.
“During our studies, it was not easy too, I worked part-time to support our child,” she said, adding that she juggled her time between studies and work.
Upon their return to Kuching in 1993, Mariani established CADAS Business School in a joint venture with a friend. The school was sold to Sunway College in 2008.
Additionally, Mariani ran a furnishing company, which she had to close after being diagnosed with cancer in 2010.
Contributions and accomplishments
Throughout her career and personal life, Mariani remained dedicated and hardworking. Despite facing challenges after having cancer, she continued to strive for success and makes meaningful contributions to the community.
She aspires to make a difference in society by sharing her cancer journey and inspiring other individuals battling the disease.
Mariani was approached by the Society for Cancer Advocacy and Awareness (SCAN), which was formed in 2017, to serve as their advisor, a role which she accepted.
“I’m willing to give back to society. Because of what I have gone through and I want to share my experience with others,” she said.
In addition, she has a passion for working with children who have special needs.
“It all started in 2013 when I met a group of special needs children, and it was then I felt that there was something I wanted to do for them.
“And that is where I help them to excel in sports so that there is something that they and their parents can have something to look forward to in life,” she said.
She was involved in the Special Olympics and took on various roles such as serving as a deputy head of delegation for the Malaysian team during the 2015 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles, USA, organising the 2018 Sarawak Games for people with disabilities in Kuching, and leading the Sarawak contingent to international games held in Banjarmasin (Kalimantan), Japan, and Adelaide (Australia).
In recognition of her contributions, Dayang Mariani received the ‘Anugerah Penggiat Sosial Wanita’ (Women’s Social Worker Award) from the Ministry of Welfare, Community Welfare, Women, Family, and Child Development in 2018.
She was also appointed as the Special Olympics Sarawak Kuching Chapter chairperson for the term 2019 to 2021.
Furthermore, she is also recognised for her leadership within the Trefoil Guild Girl Guides (TGGG) on an international scale.
She has held several leadership positions in the Girl Guides organisation, including serving as the president of TGGG Sarawak Branch and as the vice president of the Girl Guides Association Sarawak Branch. She was also appointed as an advisor to the Sarawak branch.
In view of her contribution to charity work, she was recognised with the Asia Pacific Leadership Award for girl guiding in the previous year.
In addition, Mariani is passionate about Sarawak’s traditional textiles and cultural heritage, and is actively involved in promoting them through her role as an advisor for Society Atelier Sarawak, an organisation that promotes Sarawak’s arts and crafts.
Always providing
Mariana expressed that although life presents challenges, it’s important to make the best of it.
“I have a good life, I have my ups and downs, but the part of it is that I want to have more ‘best’ after cancer. There is nothing that stops me. I want to work many tomorrows and it must be a positive tomorrow.
“And I learn this from my Malay mother who always teaches me good values such as visiting less fortunate relatives.
“I make time for people whom I love, who are sick and in need. Because in life, it is such that you never know what is going to happen next,” she said.
What keeps her going? It is to do something meaningful in life.
Life, she said, is such that it is so fragile.
“You never know where you are going (to die), so you want to make something out of this life. Our life is never permanent,” she said.
She recalls an incident where her Malay mother, a person whom she looked up to, extended an invitation to students who had to sleepover at the airport following a postponed flight and provided them with a place to stay and a meal at her parents’ house.
Her mother’s actions were driven by her empathy and belief in helping others, as she hoped that God would do the same for her children if they ever found themselves in a similar situation.
“My mother, ‘angkut’ (invited) the students and brought them home, and fed them. She said ‘I hope I feed them and I hope God will feed my children if they get stranded somewhere’.
“She has a lot of empathy, always thinking about others and I thank her for that,” she said.
Additionally, Mariani’s Chinese family also actively participates in charity work, guided by their Buddhist belief in good karma.
“So, I learn the importance of sharing with others from both sides of my family. I’m thankful to Allah for them in shaping me into the person I am today,” said Mariani.
