Tom (not his real name) is 91 years old while his wife, Mary (not her real name) is 90 years old. Both are residents at a nursing home which offers around-the-clock assistance.
Tom can move around on a wheelchair and until recently, his wife could do that as well. Then, she had a fall and is not mobile anymore.
I visited the nursing home in Kuching recently to meet my former classmate and friend, Jane (not her real name) who was checking on her mother there.
From the white board, I discovered that most of the residents were very elderly except for two who were relatively young – a man in his early 40s and a woman in her late 40s.
My friend and former classmate used to look after her mother at home. When she had to work, she made sure there was a helper and later on, a nurse, at home.
One day, her mother had a stroke and since my friend stayed alone with her mother, she found it hard to lift and move her parent around.
That was when she decided to place her beloved parent in a nursing home which provided quality health care.
Like my friend’s mother, most of those who end up in the expensive nursing home need constant care and around-the-clock assistance.
When I was younger, I used to think poorly and lowly of children who placed their parents in nursing homes. “How can they be so unfilial?,” I used to mutter to myself.
Now, older and wiser, I know personally the challenges of looking after an ageing, sick parent
As pointed out by Lifestrong.com in one of its columns, the role of full-time caregiver often causes stress, places strain on family relationships, interrupts one’s involvement in other activities and alters sleep patterns.
It says individuals should consider finding nursing homes where they can remain actively involved in making decisions about their parents’ future instead of sacrificing their emotional health.
Of course, this is easier said than done. Placing a beloved parent in a nursing home is not cheap. My friend, a former highly paid civil servant, for instance, pays RM3,500 monthly to the nursing home for taking care of her mother. She spends another RM1,000 on the adult diapers and special milk powder.
If you can afford the steep fees, it is good to send your ageing parent whose health is declining to a good quality nursing home.
At least, you can be assured that he or she will be comfortable and well cared for in the future. Besides around-the-clock aid, nursing homes also have professional staff who are knowledgeable about many medical conditions.
Do you know that Malaysia is moving fast towards an ageing population? Those aged 60 years old and above have grown from 6.2% in 2000 and this figure is expected to hit 13.6% by 2030.
Rapid population ageing in the country is attributed to the dramatic decline in fertility and mortality rates associated with longer life expectancy.
Health experts have pointed out the urgent need for Malaysia to address many challenges in view of its ageing population.
These challenges include providing homes for the elderly, professional manpower and creating an elderly citizens-friendly community.
It is hoped that the Malaysian government will listen to the health experts and act quickly to address challenges on the nation’s ageing population.
Personally, I wish I can send my mother to an affordable quality nursing home and give her the best constant care instead of leaving her alone at home while I go to work.
