Love your parents and be ready to care for them. Many adult children are so busy growing up that they forget that their parents are growing old at the same time.
– freedomcare.com
For the government to recently announce plans to introduce a Senior Citizens Bill in Parliament next year to penalise adult children who abandon their elderly parents in old folks’ homes it could only mean the issue has reached a critical stage. Otherwise, why legislate such a law?
It was reported that 2,144 elderly patients nationwide were abandoned by their children at hospitals and welfare homes from 2018 to 2022. But this figure is only the tip of the iceberg for I believe many cases would have gone unreported; main reasons being personal (embarrassment and shame) and societal (privacy of the family).
In most cases, when the authorities traced the abandoned parents’ family members, the children would refuse to take them back. Even if they did – reluctantly of course – the poor parents will most likely face elder abuse and neglect.
The law when enacted will create a duty for or rather compel adult children to take care of their old parents who are unable to support themselves. One of the proposals is to make it incumbent on the children to be financially responsible for their parents’ care and support.
The government may also compel salary deductions for adult children who send their parents to welfare institutions.
Deputy Women, Family and Community Development Minister Aiman Athirah Sabu said in Parliament on March 15 that the law will protect senior citizens and address the issue of an aged nation by 2030.
“The ministry will also look into the appropriateness of the punishments for adult children who refuse to be responsible for their parents,” she said.
Aiman argued that just as the responsibility of caring for children is entrusted to both parents, so is the responsibility of children to care and provide for their parents during old age.
“My ministry welcomes the proposal to introduce a law that mandates salary deductions for children who send their parents to care centres or nursing homes if the children are capable but do not fulfil their responsibilities,” she said.
But my question is will the proposed law be effective? I believe education is a better option. And at the same time family values – which have eroded over the years in a dog eat dog Malaysia – should be enhanced.
Children who have wonderful ties with their parents will not want to abandon their elderly parents, unless of course the former’s physical and mental conditions make it hard for them to effectively care for their parents.
The root cause of the issue is multi-factorial. Why do adult children neglect or walk away from their old folks?
Not all parent and child relationships are good ones. Some parents are known to be physically, emotionally and verbally abusive with their children during the latter’s formative years as well as in their adulthood.
I know of cases of parents bullying their children and making unrealistic demands.
In such a situation it is certainly understandable that their children would want to avoid caring for their aged parents.
Other factors that might cause children to shirk their responsibilities are if the parents’:
- mental health issues are too difficult to manage;
- dementia or Alzheimer’s disease is too severe and they are unsafe; and
- physical health is too severe or complicated to manage.
Another factor is the children themselves are too ill or incapable of caring for their parents.
Therefore, any of the above reasons could make it impossible for the adult children to care for their sick or aged parents.
Nevertheless, while the government is planning to table the Senior Citizens Bill, the concept of filial piety should be imbibed in the family system. The core idea of filial piety is that children are indebted to provide support to their parent and show their love and gratitude for their parents’ efforts in nurturing them.
Research findings show that filial piety has beneficial effects on children’s development and may reduce parent-child conflict. And children who practise filial piety are less likely to face psychological and conduct problems, hyperactivity, and emotional symptoms.
Laws to compel adult children to care for the aged parents are not new. The United States, Bangladesh, China, India, Germany, France, Taiwan and Singapore have their enacted laws.
In the US for example, the law compels adult children to provide support and maintenance for their parents if they are unable to support themselves. If the court determines that the adult children have failed to render their proper share in such support and maintenance, the court may compel contribution by the children to anyone who has contributed to the support or maintenance of the parents.
And in India, the law includes provisions compelling children to provide a monthly allowance to their parents who do not have the means to maintain themselves.
If the children fail to pay the allowance, a warrant to levy the due amount from the children will be issued or the children can face a jail term of up to one month.
Our neighbour Singapore also has a law whereby any elderly parents who are unable to maintain themselves can claim maintenance from their children.
In conclusion, I feel the moral responsibility of taking care of our parent cannot be governed by law – it’s our sacred duty to care for our parents who took care of and nurtured us to what we are today. It’s a mortal sin to abandon them in their old age.
To me, caring for our parents is an honour!
The views expressed here are those of the columnist and do not necessarily represent the views of New Sarawak Tribune.
