By Jasnita Binti Ahmad Randurah
Have you ever heard of living for the “second” time? There is nothing more beautiful than having been given the opportunity by God to experience life once more and create a meaningful journey out of it, just like how some believe that somewhere, somehow, there is another universe where a better version of us is thriving.
This is the story of a cancer fighter who is currently pursuing his degree in Chemical Engineering at Universiti Malaysia Sarawak (UNIMAS) while having to fight the pain that one can see.
Hamri Bin Hairolmizam, more fondly known as Aam by his family and friends, has nasopharyngeal cancer, or nose cancer, and has become a fighter of this disease since March 20, 2021.
“There were moments where I felt like I was a walking corpse,” he described his pain.
Before embracing the opportunity to continue studying at UNIMAS, the 22-year-old was once a student at Politeknik Kuching Sarawak, where he took Process Engineering Petrochemical. To complete his studies, Aam went to the west side of Malaysia to undergo his industrial training, where he was officially diagnosed with stage three nose cancer at Hospital Sultan Ahmad Shah, Pahang, just months after he started.
His early signs were constant migraine and a bleeding nose — and it is not an ordinary nose-bleeding scene that we often witness.
Mostly like no one else, Aam entered the life of an adult with almost no support and guidance. The moment he was diagnosed, what he felt was extreme frustration, and he almost gave up on his vision of creating a new and better life for himself and his siblings — especially for his younger brother. The goal to make their lives more comfortable and better was what gave him the strength to fight the death-dealing disease.
When asked if it was hard for him to deal with the disease while being away from home, he said that it has always been a challenge for him since he was 17.
Life at Politeknik Kuching moulded him into a person capable of living independently, as that was when he slowly struggled to contact his parents properly. At that time, he relied extensively on his grandparents and primarily his friends. He learned the meaning of money management and is proud that he managed to support his life since he was a teenager.
“I am so thankful for whatever has happened to me because it has taught me one thing that we humans rarely feel — being thankful to God always for everything,” said Aam.
Though he struggled financially, he is exceptionally thankful to his friends and family for supporting his mental state, as he claimed that he might have “lost himself” for a while. It was also during the recovery phase that Aam struggled with depression.
He did not miss the opportunity to share about his recovery phase.
“It was extraordinarily tiring,” Aam said. “Indescribable and unimaginable, almost.”
Reminiscing on his healthy body during the recovery phase, he realised that everyone should be thankful for what has been gifted to them now, especially on how they look. He said it might sound cliché, but to compare to how he looked before and during the painful moments of slowly turning into somebody else due to the treatment that he went through, he believes he has the right to say so.
But as they always say, there’s always a silver lining when things look black.
Aam has always loved documenting his life, but after his diagnosis, he has documented almost every aspect. Whatever he is doing and is going through, he will have it recorded, perhaps to look back at to see how far he has gone.
This allowed him to share his journey with the world through the screen. He uploaded some of the journeys that he had documented on TikTok. He said that he knows he is not alone, and there are actually many young people who are going through the same thing and are still struggling to find strength.
“My ultimate happiness is being able to help people, and what I remind myself of is always having the strength to fight this cancer so that I can give back to my family and friends.”
Aam felt this was the most suitable year to take a giant step in his studying journey. Now, Aam is our future engineering expert in the making. Though it is hard to balance classes and hospital appointments, he said he needs to be strong because he knows where he wants to go and wishes to take up the challenge — to come out of his comfort zone and face his fears.
“The most challenging experience has got to be taking a painkiller that makes it hard for me to focus in class,” Aam shared. “Another frustration is when I have to miss some classes for the sake of hospital checkups. If not, it will be because I am running out of my medications.”
I was also informed that he had just recently received a one-month sick leave from the hospital due to his unprecedented pain. Thus, he is still coping with how to catch up with his studies.
Because it is his nature as a business-minded person, he dreams of owning his own business one day while being an engineer as a side income. His main goal is to make his siblings and family reach a point where they believe and know that money is never a problem for them in life.
We talked about regrets and hopes, and Aam shared that the two things he regrets the most are not appreciating his once healthy life and wishing he had paid much more attention to his body. On the other hand, his hopes are to make his dreams come true, and that he will eventually be known as someone who opens the eyes of the public to the awakening of a person in the midst of pain in life. Simply put, it is an inspiration to all.
“My message to the souls reading this is to be thankful. Take care of what you have now and appreciate it. Remember to always be strong for yourself.”
- This article was written by a student from the Strategic Communication Programme at the Faculty of Education, Language and Communication, UNIMAS.
