Before we go to the various hilarious parts of ‘Malaysian’ English, let’s start with this: Don’t start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday. Every day is a fresh start. Each day is a new beginning. Every morning we wake up is the first day of our new life.
The English language is an interesting language with its own uniqueness. It has its own limitations though, especially when used wrongly or even spelt ‘unwisely’ as some of our signage, sign boards, notices and public ‘reminders’ show, many of which are probably directly translated from one of our Malaysian dialects or lingo.
It is not wrong to say ‘Tanah Untuk Dijual’ means in English – if directly translated – ‘Earth For Sale’. But logically, do we usually sell earth? It should be ‘Land For Sale’ because ‘tanah’ in Malay means ‘earth’ or ‘land’ and it is land that we usually sell, not earth.
But a notice that says ‘OWNER FOR SALE’ Please call: (phone number: see photo attached) is a bit of an intrigue. I simply cannot get a grip of this except to assume it must be a property for sale and any one interested should call owner at stated telephone number.
This one is common: SILA “FLASH” SELEPAS MENGGUNAKAN TANDAS. Here it should be ‘FLUSH’ instead of ‘FLASH’ but it is understood. Another notice written boldly at a parking centre that says ‘PLEASE PAY YOUR PARKING FEE BEFORE EXISTING’ makes me laugh too. Logically how can one pay any fee before one exists – in Malay ‘sebelum berada di dunia’ – in this world but what it means is ‘before exiting’ or in Malay ‘sebelum keluar’. This is a shameful public notice and foreign drivers would have a field day laughing at this.
At a coffee shop the signage says : ‘KEDAI KOPI TONGKU WIFE FREE’. Oh my goodness, if literally taken, it must mean one, the wife of the customer is to have coffee and food there free of charge; or it could mean – in jest – the wife of the coffee shop owner is ‘for free’ whatever that means. But to put it correctly, it means ‘free wifi’.
At another usually frequented centre, the sign board says ‘THANGS FOR COME TO FISITING US’ whereas its notice in BM says ‘Terimakasih Atas Kunjungan Anda’ which is understood though not 100 per cent correct as ‘terimakasih’ is joined. It should be detached to become ‘terima kasih’ (two words). One notice at a liquor shop says: “Shoplifters will be prostituted”. This is another laughing matter for choosing the wrong word which should be ‘prosecuted’. And then a nearby shop offers a temporary notice that says, “DOOR CLOSED, BACK SIDE OPEN” which is understood to mean ‘Front door closed, back door opens”. Luckily the ‘back side’ are not joined to become ‘backside’ which could have mean something vulgar.
A website www.engrish.com offers this one: ‘Please Satisfy Yourself Before Leaving the Counter. Terima Kasih. Thank You. Come Again’. Honestly I cannot dig any meaning of this. The key words here are probably ‘Satisfy Yourself’ but I cannot make out anything out of them. This one might be done on purpose out of hilarity: ‘WELCOM TURIST WE SPIK INGLISH’ or was it done to the best of their ‘Inglish’? We never know.
A mosque notice says it very politely and nicely in Malay that reads: ‘MASUK MASJID BERPAKAIAN RAPI DAN MENUTUP AURAT’ only that it is directly translated into English that says: PLEASE ENTER THE MOSQUE DRESSED AND CLOSE THE GENITALS. This notice that also has both Mandarin and Jawi translations, should have translated not word for word. It could have just said: ‘Please enter mosque properly dressed with all intimate body parts covered’ or just shorten it to the first five words.
There are many others as demonstrations of interesting Malaysians ‘Inglish’ as many of the attached photos show. Have a hilarious time reading. I will not repeat this article once more time again. Even Tun M in his public speeches ‘repeated once more time again’ the ‘although’/’but’ mistakes, a typical mistake committed by nine out of ten Malaysians.
When we were in SMK Saratok, Iban was our lingua franca. In Saratok town, Chinese parents scold their children in Iban and so are Malay parents at times. So we neither learn Malay nor Hokkien. I learned how to speak proper English while in Lower Six at Methodist Secondary School Sibu. At the same time I learned how to speak using Sarawak Malay ala Sibu as well as some Foochow, starting with the vulgar versions – and Mandarin too from Wang Yu and David Chiang movies.
After speaking – and teaching the English Language to school children using different syllabi including the 201, 202, 1119 and 3200 as well as British Cambridge O and A Levels (Brunei), I still have so much to learn in regard to this wonderful global and Internet language. I learned lately that after the word ‘converge’ the preposition that follows should be ‘ON’ and not ‘AT’. For example: All the participating Elvis Tribute Artistes are to converge ‘ON’ London to fight for Best ETA 2018 this 16 August. Have a fabulous day!
