All human males were as fascinated with cars as they were with breasts. – Anita Clenney, author of mysteries and paranormal romantic suspense
Not many might be aware that the most common form of cancer among Malaysian women is breast cancer which affects one in 19 individuals.
By the way, I had wanted to write about the national level Malaysia Day celebration which was hosted by Sarawak, but just about everyone seems to be writing about it, so what the heck! Let’s write on something else.
My cousin sister had mentioned a few days ago about her best friend being neglected and eventually ‘abandoned’ by her long-time boyfriend after she was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer.
How insensitive and cruel of that heartless fella to leave her when she needed someone near her at this difficult stage of her life!
Sharmini, not her real name, only found out about her breast cancer during a mammogram and later a biopsy at a private specialist clinic in Subang Jaya confirmed her illness. She had discovered a small lump on her left breast late last year and had alerted her boyfriend of seven years but he had passed it off as insignificant.
Only after several months later when the lump became enlarged and she felt discomfort and pain did she visit the doctor. A biopsy was taken and a few days later (if the procedure had been conducted at a government hospital, it would have taken at least two weeks for the results) it came back positive.
Sharmini had expected the worst. Her parents and boyfriend were informed. But no sooner had her boyfriend come to know of the news, than he started avoiding her.
Now, my cousin is telling me he is nowhere to be contacted.
Supporting a loved one with breast cancer is a pivotal part of treatment, because treatment often brings physical, psychological, as well as emotional challenges.
It is at this difficult stage of her life that a woman needs a ‘rock’ to keep her going, and the support and care can be potentially lifesaving. In fact there is strong evidence that chronic loneliness can hinder the recovery of a patient. Even grimmer is the fact that women who lack the support of a partner have poorer survival rates.
Says Dr Arash Asher, director of Cancer Rehabilitation and Survivorship at Cedar-Sinai’s Samuel Oschin Comprehensive Cancer Institute, Los Angeles: “People who have a great caregiver in their lives generally get through treatment better than patients who are more isolated.”
A colleague whose wife is suffering from stage three breast cancer admitted that choosing the right words to soothe his partner can be difficult at times. Which is why he resorts to nonverbal communication.
“This can be comforting too. Holding her hand and looking her in the eye is a form of assurance to her that I am not intimidated by the disease, and that you are always near her and continue to love her,” he said.
But one particularly matter that I am concerned about is: family members and – to a certain degree – the patient, tend to hide the illness from friends and relatives.
Experts believe that when a loved one is undergoing treatment, it may be helpful for her partner to express his own anxieties to a close friend or support group. As it is, the patient has to shoulder a great burden; if she perceives that her partner is also feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed, she could decide not to share her concerns and fears.
Yes, bear this bear in mind, partners do need support, but not always from the person battling the disease.
I have selected below a few international celebrities who are breast cancer survivors for inspiration.
Kylie Minogue was 36 years when the Australian pop legend revealed she was suffering from breast cancer. She underwent lumpectomy and chemotherapy and in February 2006, she defeated cancer.
Two years later, Minogue revealed she had initially been misdiagnosed and cancer was detected only when she went for a second opinion.
Therefore, just because some people are in white coat and using complicated medical instruments, doesn’t mean that one has to take every word of theirs as gospel. If doubtful, seek a second opinion.
American actress, comedian and producer Julia Louis-Dreyfus, 62, revealed she had been diagnosed with breast cancer in a Twitter post in September 2017.
“One in eight women get breast cancer. I’m the one,” read her post, adding, “The good news is that I have the most glorious group of supportive and caring family and friends, and fantastic insurance through my union. The bad news is that not all women are so lucky, so let’s fight all cancers and make universal health care a reality.”
She recovered from her stage two illness after undergoing a double mastectomy and six chemotherapy rounds. In October 2018, she announced she was cancer-free.
Actor and climate activist Jane Fonda, 85, revealed her cancer only in 2019. The well-known public figure said she had undergone mastectomy before the 2016 Golden Globe Awards, where she had been nominated for Best Supporting Actress for Youth.
In 2010, she wrote on her blog that the big C is “all out now!”
Robin Roberts, 62, an American television broadcaster, knew she had breast cancer in 2007 during a routine self-check. She discovered a lump in her right breast, which an earlier mammogram result showed she was okay. Nevertheless, a subsequent ultrasound spotted the tumour which was confirmed as cancer following a biopsy.
She underwent chemotherapy and lumpectomy, and radiation therapy to recover from it.
Roberts insist that seeking support from friends, family members, doctors and nurses is good for those suffering from cancer.
Meanwhile, findings of a Malaysian study some time back revealed that the five-year survival rate among Chinese breast cancer sufferers was 48.2 per cent, Indians (47.2 per cent) and Malays (39.7 per cent). The survival rate was lower as the stages increased, with the late stages mostly seen among the Malays (46. per cent), followed by Chinese (36 per cent) and Indians (34 per cent).
The study concluded that the overall survival rate of Malaysian women with breast cancer was lower than figures in the western world with “Malays having the lowest because they presented at late stage, after a long duration of symptoms, had larger tumour size, and had more lymph nodes affected”.
Help our loved ones to battle the big C. Don’t let them go through it alone! Have some compassion!
The views expressed here are those of the columnist and do not necessarily represent the views of New Sarawak Tribune.
