Book title: I Am a Hitman: The Real-Life Confessions of a Contract Killer
ISBN: 9781787396036
Author: Anonymous
Publisher: Welbeck Publishing Group (US)
Publication year: 2020
Price: RM66.90
Fear is probably the single most potent force inside all our heads, and it should never be ignored.
– Anonymous
I Am a Hitman: The Real-Life Confessions of a Contract Killer, a book written anonymously by a hitman, relates the incredible story of a Scottish man who has been doing it (contract killing) for more than two decades.
And now, the author has decided to come clean and seek atonement for his life as a murderer and one of the most dangerous persons alive.
This is the account of a life lived between our world and a shadowy criminal underworld, a life lived beneath the radar of the law and a life lived in death.
Hitmen commit heinous crimes almost every day of the week, and most of the time we are unaware.
The author, who has been a hired killer for over two decades, said that life as a full-time professional assassin has never been easy, with close calls, failed attempts, and a lot of looking over his shoulder.
His real-life story begins with his unusual and complicated childhood, when he was taught self-discipline and the ways of the trigger, as well as becoming emotionless in order to avoid his feelings overwhelming him in extreme situations.
The book’s premise is essentially about the author and his past, his childhood, and his life as a contract killer.
One of the things I loved about this book was that he highlighted something that we all have and keep hidden from others — secrets.
In some ways, the author found keeping secrets exciting and enjoyable. You’ll soon realise how this affects his personal life, especially his marriage and potential future.
One of the phrases from this book that I liked was, “Mind over matter: that was the key to my job from day one. You make sure your mind filters out the reality of what you’re doing or else you might wake up one morning and put a gun to your own head.
“At the end of the day, though, and I cannot deny it, nothing is the same after you kill another human being. You sleep with one eye open for the rest of your life.”
It certainly goes to show the complicated issues one had to cope with as a professional contract killer, who had to look behind his back after every job done.
Despite disclosing his childhood life and life as a hitman in a real-world manner, the author recounted his story in a straightforward manner using above-layman language where I did not have to check Google for the meaning of a given word every 15 seconds.
Even though there were no gory details in the manner he explained his job, the sensitivity and caring he displayed outside of business and the struggle he had during his childhood provided the feel of a well-thought-out story.
To conclude, ‘I Am a Hitman: The Real-Life Confessions of a Contract Killer’ is a classic case of ‘don’t judge a book by its cover,’ although it is extremely gritty and harsh.
It was written in retrospect regarding one’s feelings amid harsh situations.
As you follow the author on jobs, you also learn more about his past, and having these two things unravelling at the same time was incredibly interesting and it’s really well done.
It opened my eyes to the issue of keeping secrets and being deceitful, which was covered in great detail from the beginning and later makes a significant point near the end of the book.
When you read this book, you will probably find some of the murders described by the author to be a little ludicrous and silly.
However, I assume it was done to protect the author’s anonymity, something he repeatedly mentions throughout the book.
Nonetheless, this is an entertaining and thought-provoking read.
