Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.
– Haruki Murakami, Japanese writer
Memories, good ones and sad ones act as milestones in our lives.
Celebrations or the marking of special occasions are normal for us. They provide us with lifelong memories of the occasion.
Many of us have to some extent already adjusted from the pre-Covid-19 pandemic daily routines and mundane life activities to the new normal.
However, what about the special occasions in our lives? Have you lost out on any special moments?
The Covid-19 pandemic crisis is depriving millions of people worldwide from their once-in-a-lifetime and other special events memories.
A wedding is certainly a once in a lifetime event, well for most people.
They usually involve the whole family, sometimes from various parts of the world. There are many pre-wedding rituals and or prayers and joyous gatherings leading up to the day of that special day.
However, now either due to SOPs or restrictions imposed on weddings, many couples are reduced to only a wedding registration process or just a simple close family gathering — and understandably so.
I met someone last year who could not attend their son’s wedding overseas and had to view it via Zoom. At least technology enabled this mother to see her son getting married.
Where students are concerned, one of the memorable times in their lives is the experience they have at school, college or university socialising with their fellow students.
At present, the one-year gap with only having online classes has robbed them of the meaningful experiences and the ups and downs of the camaraderie they could have had while studying.
In addition to this, the joy of getting their results on results day will also be absent for some time to come.
Then there is the graduation ceremony — another milestone. The joy of students with their family members, going up to the stage to receive their graduation scrolls — is also not possible for the moment.
This type of setbacks compounds the lost experience after all the slog, hard work and burning of the midnight oil to pass the examinations.
Holidays and travelling out of town or overseas are another important experience. The meeting of other people, cultures, historic cities all allow us to expand our outlooks and experiences, has to be put on hold as well.
How about birthdays? This is one of the most common but special celebrations by all. This can be particularly memorable for the young ones — being surrounded by family, friends and don’t forget the presents.
Wedding anniversaries are also important to us, especially the milestone ones. Five years ago, my wife Parveen organised my parents’ surprise 55th Emerald wedding anniversary celebration at a hotel with family and friends.
However, this year the 60th Diamond anniversary was a quiet but meaningful affair at home.
In the current pandemic, the saddest is the death and funeral of loved ones. Many cannot even see their deceased family member if it is Covid-19 related and the burial or cremation is a swift and lonely one.
Even if it is not Covid-19 related, with the necessary SOPs in place not many turn up for the funeral gathering. For many, there is no closure or opportunity for final farewells.
The loss of such once-in-a-lifetime human experiences and important event is indeed unfortunate and for some people perhaps it can leave a sense of loss in their minds.
These losses of human experience can be profound and, in some situations, potentially lead to psychological issues.
What is the negative impact of the loss of these milestone moments? How are we to manage them or in some cases mourn them?
I don’t think there have been many studies done on these issues in this short space of time since the pandemic began. So possibly there are no definitive answers yet.
I am sure in time to come there will be outcomes from some studies and counsellors will be trained appropriately to guide people needing help.
Despite all these lost opportunities for having our once-in-a-lifetime experiences, special occasions and other celebrations, we humans are generally an adaptable lot.
We have evolved, adapted and overcome many challenges over the centuries to be where we are as a race by being resilient and the present situation is just one more challenge.
Having said this, as an individual do take care and carry on staying and keeping others safe so that you can have more once-in-a-lifetime experiences.
The views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the New Sarawak Tribune.
