‘Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’
– C.S. Lewis, British
OVER the past few days, I have lost count of the number of family and friends I visited for Hari Raya Aidilfitri.
It warms my heart to know that the Hari Raya Aidilfitri celebration has returned to its glory days unlike during the COVID-19 pandemic period.
Festive seasons are often a time for people to get together and catch up.
I personally admit that I do not often get to see some of the family and friends whom I have visited during this Hari Raya Aidilfitri.
There are certain people in our lives whom we only see once a year. This is not something bad because we all have our own lives to get on with, so there is no need to feel disheartened or offended by the infrequency of keeping in touch.
I like low maintenance relationships and friendships – the ones who you would not see or speak to for months or years, but when you finally meet up, it feels like time has never passed.
This is what it is like for my high school best friend, Alyssa Azureen and I.
We both know that we have our own things and lives to get on with, but if we ever need each other, we are always be there come rain or shine.
Since leaving high school, we both have our own separate lives and groups of friends as well as colleagues as we embark on our different paths.
It is not easy to find friends who are okay with this kind of arrangement, especially when you are still in school or university.
However, it comes naturally as you grow older and get on with your own respective lives.
When I was in high school, I remember always feeling insecure whenever my friends did not include or invite me to outings.
I think at one point, youngsters loved to use the term “bojio” (a way of expressing fear of missing out) whenever their friends did not extend outing invitations to them.
It is only human nature to fear being left out and this often renders us feeling insecure and unworthy.
As you grow older, you will learn not to sweat over the little things including not making it to the invitation list for outings or occasions.
I love the invention of various social media platforms because I get to see how these family and friends are getting on through the postings they share.
Even if you are a silent observer on social media, you get to see updates of good or bad happenings shared by those whom you follow.
This is how I personally keep myself posted with happenings in family members and close friends’ lives.
We do not necessarily talk every day, but sometimes, either one will comment to ask, congratulate or initiate a brief conversation.
Another thing I have observed during this Hari Raya Aidilfitri celebration is people are now more respectful of each other’s personal space and privacy, especially when it comes to open house invitations.
I believe days where one would feel disheartened or offended if one is not invited to an open house are long gone.
This is probably owing to the COVID-19 pandemic when open houses and gatherings during the festive seasons were private affairs.
I think similar principles should be applied to other occasions such as birthday celebrations and weddings among others.
Just because you are not invited does not mean the host is not fond of or has something against you.
I know for a fact when I have important life milestones to celebrate, I would not invite all 974 contacts in my phonebook, 704 friends on Facebook, 646 followers on Instagram and 1,330 followers on TikTok that I have.
It is just not sensible and a ridiculous notion to attempt – I mean, not all of them are dear to me even if we are friends or followers of each other.
I think this is a problem when it comes to social media; people tend to assume they are close or know you very well just because they are following your life updates on these platforms.
Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and deal with any possible “bojio” comment thrown at you because you do not owe anyone anything.
On the other hand, you have to understand and respect the host’s decision because most of the time, it is nothing personal.
