The last time I saw her she was a thin young girl. Now three years later she has really turned into a woman and a bubbly bride. My grandniece Clar r i s a Jabai @ Wen’s marriage to Felix Jungan, a Roban native, last Saturday celebrated in full grandeur at my longhouse Kedap in Saratok, was a culmination of a love affair that lasted for more than a year. Our ‘bilik’ in Kedap played host to more than two hundred guests, including relatives from a number of longhouses in Saratok, Debak and Roban. My second brother Jon @ Chandi, 70, who looks after our residence in Kedap was contented and glad about the conclusion of the love affair in marriage and ended anxieties about the granddaughter’s wellbeing and single status. Wen, 23, is his eldest grandchild. Though the whole longhouse supported and joined in the celebration by putting up decorations all over the open gallery, it was our family alone that served food and drinks for the guests.
During a gathering on June 2 attended by representatives of every household at our open gallery ‘ruai’, it was agreed that each family was to contribute twenty ringgit cash to our family in support of the marriage of our grandchild. That amount was paid on the spot during the June 2 evening gathering. This has been the usual practice of our longhouse for a very long time. I am sure other longhouses are doing the same. Four pigs and more than a dozen chickens were slaughtered on Friday June 8 in preparation for the ‘melah pinang’ (marriage) ceremony the next day. Our bilik was already housing a sizeable number of guests even on the eve of the ceremony.
I came about 5 in the morning straight from work in Kuching, thanks to a friendly neighbour who was willing to lend me his 4WD. Even at 5am the longhouse was still very much alive as a few youngsters were still enjoying some drinks at their own ‘ruai’. On that Saturday, about 4pm, the main guests from Sungai Engkabang longhouse in Roban were gathered at an open space outside our longhouse. They numbered about 150. Later I was told they came in more than fifty vehicles. Prior to entering the longhouse, a special traditional rite was performed there to appease the spirits. Mar r iages in longhouses are always celebrated in great splendour and marked with full ceremonial rites. In the case of my grandniece Wen, the basic ceremonial rite ‘melah pinang’ (cutting of the areca nut) was performed and followed by ‘bebiau’ (waving of the cockerel) as a gesture to wave away the bad ‘karma’ and replace it with good fortune and blessing the newly weds with everlasting and fruitful marriage.
Our eldest brother Edward Jelani Salok who stays next door to Jon was grateful that I managed to be around for the ceremony and let me stay at his bilik as my own room upstairs at Jon’s was taken by the bride and groom. Edward‘s ten grandchildren were around, except one who has just enrolled as a matriculation student in Labuan. None of the nine wanted to put up upstairs leaving one of the three bedrooms empty.
For me it was a happy reunion with a few of his grandkids whom I have not met for quite a while and most of them have grown up to be beautiful young girls from those toddlers of some years ago. Apart from getting reunited with the grandkids, I also got to meet many long-lost friends and relatives who also came to Kedap in support of the marriage. Two in-laws of Edward, who were my childhood friends, both in their early sixties, also made it to the occasion leading to blurred eyes with tears of joy among us. That made my last trip so rewarding. Wen, the daughter of my niece Regina Jon @ Laut, is gainfully employed in Kuching, despite failing to make the grade in her Universiti Teknologi Malaysia (UTM) first semester exam some years ago.
Her husband Felix is an executive with KFC Kuching. Though being the eldest child, Wen is given away by her father Kasim Encharang as ‘nguai’ (going residential with husband’s family) in view of the fact that Felix’s siblings are still studying and raised by a single mom. As the custom, this ‘nguai’ factor in Iban marriages must be pre-determined, the reason being connected to allocation of heritage and site of burial upon future demise of either husband or wife and few other vital matters. Some thirty years ago, an incident of disagreement over ‘nguai’ pertaining to the marriage of my second cousin Liap Ujih in Mile 6 Jalan Oya Sibu almost turned very ugly.
This was when an intoxicated uncle Ujih Untan, dad’s first cousin, refused to give away his son Liap to ‘nguai’ in his marriage to a girl from that area. Hot-headed Ujih, nicknamed ‘Kelambu Kumang Begitang Tengan Hari, Baya Mangah Nyamah Belakang Perau Kemudi’ (Kumang’s lace hanging at mid air, hungry crocodile attacks at boat’s rear end) in reference to his famous sharpshooting exploit at a Melupa River stretch in the past, upon hearing the refusal of the girl’s parents to let their daughter ‘nguai’ to Liap, left the longhouse and called for anyone who was willing for a duel to the death at the adjacent longhouse ground. My late dad was among the guests left at the longhouse. He and a few others had no choice but to leave to follow Ujih who waited for at least twenty minutes for any opponent.
His death duel challenge had no taker. There had been many cases of marriages that did not materialise just because of disagreements over ‘nguai’. During Wen’s marriage do various rites and entertainment items were done. Among them was the ‘cake-cutting’ event that was done after the simple ‘bebiau’ held with the couple being seated at the dais attired in traditional Iban costumes. Later the couple, after changing into western attire, went around the few open galleries ‘ruai’ to serve ‘ai tikah’, the wedding ‘drink’ to guests. Many of the guests also took the opportunity to have their photos taken with the newly weds who willingly obliged.
Kedapians are looking forward to many more grand weddings in the future. Edward has three eligible granddaughters and one grandson but they seem to be more engrossed in their studies instead of boyfriends or girlfriend. I do pray and hope relatives from other Kedap households with eligible sons and daughters get lucky and share the joy of marriages with us all in the very near future, especially when the celebratory mood is still in the air.
