Change is an inevitable part of life. Sometimes it comes in stages but sometimes it just happens abruptly. For me, once I’m in my comfort zone, it becomes hard for me to change. I become a little resistant to the change instead of some people I know who seem to embrace these situations. Even after so many years on Earth, the thought of change scares me even if it is for the better. I’ve been through phases of change in my life – like entering school, leaving school after SPM, going to college and entering the workforce – and when I look back, I feel surprised that I managed to get through these changes and be where I am today.
To date, I think the most memorable change for me was when I entered kindergarten. My memories are a little foggy but I recalled how excited I was to finally be among children of my age instead of being cooped up at home with nothing but the TV to entertain me. It was nerve-wrecking when I was somehow the only one who wasn’t crying while everyone held on tightly to their parents, not wanting them to leave because they were unsure of what was going to happen to them in this unfamiliar place.
Few years later, I was in Primary One and this again was a huge change. My schedule had to change since I was required to wake up early just to get to school by 6.30am. I was forced to sleep earlier at night just to be able to wake up early the next day. And on the first day of Primary One, the one thing that didn’t change was how majority of my classmates were still crying because of being put in a new environment. Sometimes I wonder if something was wrong with me because I never shed a tear when it came to going to school for the first time. Instead, I was going around and consolling those bawling just so the teacher could actually teach something.
Many years later, the last day of Form Five came and another change was just around the corner. People whom some I’ve spent more than 10 years were leaving the city or the country. Not to mention the fact that I had to choose what I want to do in the years to come. The decisions which I had to make were resting on my shoulder and it felt like it weighed a tonne because I had to decide if I were to continue studying in Form Six or entering college for a degree. The worst part was I was not entirely sure what I wanted to do. Although I opted to enter Form Six just to stall for some time so I could make the decision on what I should pursue for future career, a part of me also wanted to take the time as a buffer before I jump in head first into another unfamiliar territory with different people and time schedules. My solace was that at least there were people whom I already knew in Form Six and I still had to wake up early just to reach school before 6.30am. That part remained the same and despite I was not a morning person, I find comfort in some uniformity in my life albeit it being just a simple matter like that.
But those years had passed by in a flash and it was then when I had no other choice but to choose what I wanted to pursue as a career. There was no more delaying the inevitable change. I decided to play it safe by choosing a course in which I felt had a lot of career choices: Mass Communication. And yes, the change was huge. My classes started at 9am some days and there were even days where I was free since the subjects did not have daily classes. I recalled thinking that this was a change which I could get used to. I was given freedom – also another change in contrast to the rigid school hours.
Before graduating, I was required to have three months worth of being an intern to put what I had learned in class to use. But this change was another nerve-wrecking experience to which I was afraid of facing. I had no idea what to expect in the working industry and who my colleagues would be.
Three years have passed since then and I’m still here with the New Sarawak Tribune, the company with which I did my internship. As it is, everyday I have to face tiny changes which I sometimes don’t find as worrying as I previously did. I have to attend different functions and meet different people. I don’t have to go through the same thing every day.
And as I continue in this line of work, it made me realise the changes I’ve been through from many years ago until now and how it has made me the way I am today. I look back at the times when I was in a metaphorical dark place and I thank God that it has changed.
One important thing I learned is that since change is inevitable, we have to change ourselves to adapt to the situation but we should never forget who or how we were before. I look back and feel thankful that I have changed compared to those times when I was in the “dark place” and yet I never truly regret going through that phase because I learned the most from then. And as I face the future which will definitely be filled with life-changing moments, I know that I can face it without worries as I have already been through some tough changes in my life. I can finally say that I’ve changed (even a little) to accept inevitable changes in life.
