Taunts, criticisms — a motivation to keep going

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Sheila and Jenison at their wedding

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Sheila Lonia Captin, a person with a physical disability, said that she has had difficulty walking and using her right hand to carry things since she was a child.

According to this Kampung Nangka native, all of her limbs on the right side are weaker than those on the left, causing movement to be slow.

She said she would tremble whenever she used her right hand to carry something, and she trembled a lot when interacting with or seeing new people.

She is, however, constantly grateful for the fact that she can still use her hands to carry things or perform other tasks, despite the fact that the movement is slower than on her left side.

She admitted that there were times when she almost gave up and blamed God for not being able to endure the ridicule of others. Her parents, on the other hand, never ceased encouraging her and tried their best to comfort her.

Sheila when she was pregnant.

Peda dek ya, cacat … Anang ngasuh ya mai utai lagi labuh (look at her; she is a disabled person … Don’t let her carry things; they will fall) — that’s what other pupils would often say, which made me feel awful about my physical state.

“I would cry as much as I could when I got home from school. After I had calmed down, I would tell myself that I should always do my best to do what normal people could do.

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“In fact, I got a manual driving licence rather than a licence for people with disabilities as I believe I can accomplish everything that ordinary people can.

“When floods hit our village, I also helped my parents in lifting heavy electrical appliances,” she said joyfully.

When asked how she met her husband, Jenison Luhi Jonathan Balang, this 27-year-old courageous woman said that they met in 2020 on Facebook.

Sheila and her son Christian Melvin.

After several months of getting to know each other on Facebook and communicating over WhatsApp, she said that Jenison wanted to meet her parents.

“He came to our house for my father’s 77th birthday celebration. I told him about my physical condition as soon as we met, however he said that he accepted whatever my shortcomings are and was ready to make me his wife.

“We married a year later and now have a cute, healthy baby boy,” she said.

She shared that she felt upset after hearing unpleasant comments from people who found out she had a boyfriend and was getting married.

Bisi gak laki ka kahwin enggau indu cacat (there are also men who want to wed women with disabilities); however, I only listened with half an ear as I don’t want to remain unhappy for too long,” said Sheila, who is constantly motivated and upbeat.

Sheila and her husband Jenison.

She went on to say that she sometimes finds it frustrating to deal with the attitudes of those who believe she is incapable of raising her child.

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She recalled a time (at a party) when her baby was crying because he was hungry.

“My baby was thrashing (because he was getting milk so late) as I prepared to nurse him. Those present began to speak up at that moment; some advised me to bottle-feed my baby because they doubted my ability to breastfeed my child.

“When I tried to stand up and walk in the other direction, they were all startled to see me walking shakily and immediately told me to hand over my child to my husband out of fear that my baby would slip from my lap.

“Only God knows how I felt at that time; I felt that I was being looked down upon because of my condition and that I wasn’t able to care for my child.

The family of three.

“I am well aware that I have a physical disability, but there is no need to belittle me in public. It is enough to help me in lifting my child (in case people are worried about my child falling) rather than saying awful things,” she said with tears in her eyes.

Sheila said that despite public ridicule and cynicism, she stayed awake and persisted till today in order to show them that she is capable of managing her home and raising a child.

She advises people who share her fate — having a physical disability — to never give up and to never let taunts or criticism from others stop them from pursuing their goals. Instead, she encourages them to use it as a motivation to keep going after what they want.

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It is completely normal to be moved by someone else’s perspective on life, especially when it comes to appreciating something we often take for granted.

It is important to remember that everyone’s journey is different, and challenges, such as physical disabilities, can be difficult to overcome.

Newborn Christian Melvin.

Feeling grateful for your own abilities and circumstances is a powerful realisation. It’s a reminder to cherish and make the most of what you have while also showing empathy and support for those going through challenging situations.

Gratitude can lead to greater compassion and understanding, making you more sensitive to the struggles that others may endure.

If you truly want to appreciate your blessings and help others. consider taking part in activities that promote inclusivity and awareness for people with disabilities. Support local organisations, participate in events, or volunteer your time to make a positive impact in their lives.

Remember that it is okay to have moments of reflection and personal growth. What matters most is what you do with these feelings moving forward.

Embrace gratitude and allow it to inspire you to make a positive impact in your own and other people’s lives.

Sheila with her father Captin Guang and mother Senah Sawal.
Sheila with her father Captin Guang and mother Senah Sawal.

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