Those we love and lose are always connected by heartstrings into infinity.
– Terri Guillemets, quotation anthologist
I lost my mother a fortnight ago and in today’s column, I’d like to thank all friends and relatives for their sympathy, kindness and prayers during my time of sorrow.
My family members are still getting used to the fact that their matriarch is not around anymore.
Sometimes when I go to the coffeeshop, I still think of bringing home food for her. My niece, Ah Hong and my mother’s favourite grandchild, keeps on trying to check on her in the room.
Christians have been reminded time and time again that life on earth is temporary and that the Lord will come suddenly to take them away.
However, only God knows when they will die.
My 84-year-old mother, an Alzheimer’s patient, had been sick for a few months. She passed away at home early evening when I was working.
Ah Hong, her cousins including my son, and a few other family members were with her when she passed on. It was good of God to take her away when there were many people in my house which was usually quiet.
My son called a Catholic priest, Father Martin Wong, of the Chapel of Mother Mary, Stutong, Kuching, to say the last rites.
I rushed home as soon as I received the bad news. I am grateful to my boss for his understanding and for arranging my colleagues to take over my duties for the rest of the day and the six subsequent days after that.
I was given three days’ compassionate leave, took two days’ annual leave and had my weekly two days off.
When I returned to work the following week, a few of colleagues expected me to shed tears as I edited the news.
I am sad I lost my mother but I think she is in a better place now sans bodily pains and sufferings.
I cried as I grieved my mother’s passing but I did not howl or yell. For months, I had been preparing for her death ever since she fell sick. I only prayed God would give her time to make peace with him before taking her away.
In the last days of her life, my mother had trouble eating and walking. It was hard for me and Ah Hong — both of us took care of her — to see the old lady slipping away.
My mother died peacefully at home. As she laid in the freezer box provided by the Catholic Mutual Benefit Society of the Archdiocese of Kuching, she looked as if she was sleeping. She wore clothes and shoes that Ah Hong bought for her.
My mother was a blessed lady. She made peace with God before she died. She had lived her life to the fullest and was loved by her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
She had travelled to many states in Malaysia including Sabah, Johor and Selangor and a few countries including Thailand, Indonesia and Brunei.
As she died, most of her children and many relatives came from far and near to pay her their last respects.
My mother was cremated at KBS Buddhist Village, Jhapeti Crematorium, Jalan Kopit, Kampung Tanjung Durian, Batu Kitang; this was one of the few crematoriums in Kuching.
My mother’s urn was placed at St Peter’s Parish Columbarium in Padungan. We collected the urn one day after the cremation.
For my family members, that was the first time we visited a crematorium and a columbarium. Parish rector Father Vincent Chin presided over the prayers at the columbarium.
St Peter’s Columbarium is the first Catholic columbarium in Sarawak. It was completed in January 2019 after 12 months’ construction and was blessed by Archbishop of Kuching, Simon Poh.
The columbarium provides a proper final resting place for those who opt for cremation and is located next to the church.
I decided to place my mother’s urn there so that it is easier for her descendants and relatives to visit her.
During my recent bereavement, I received many donations and condolence messages including those from my company and colleagues, relatives and friends as well as the Kuching Hainan Association.
I’d like to thank all of you for your sympathy, kindness and prayers. I’d like to thank Father Martin Wong for his help and prayers, too.
During my bereavement, I also renewed ties with relatives from my mother’s side in Bintangor and Kanowit, too.
I am blessed to have such social support as I mourn the loss of my mother. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
