There are many types of friends that we call office friends, school friends, college friends, and best friends. We’re lucky to be surrounded by friends who can complement us. Some may be funny, some are wise, and some can be dramatic at times but drama makes our lives interesting. Friends come and go but some stay in the circle forever. It doesn’t matter if they’re no longer in the same neighbourhood or in the same workplace but their presence can still be felt if we keep in touch. A simple hello or a simple birthday wish through text messages is enough to keep the relationship going for the next few years until the next checkpoint is due.
Sometimes friends can leave us suddenly before we have the chance to say goodbye. For me, life has its cycle. First, we attend friends’ birthdays, and then we start attending weddings and baby shower or the full moon celebration before we begin attending or hearing announcements of friends’ children, nephews or nieces getting married. The sad thing is when we start seeing obituaries of our friends’ parents in the paper. And perhaps the time is almost near when we see that our friends are starting to appear in obituaries.
I had a friend who quit her job and was returning to her hometown for good. We were supposed to go out for a drink but I bailed out last minute because I was too tired to go out. I told her, we would do it some other day and that there was plenty of time. Unfortunately, the day never came. Like my grandpa always puts it, “Regrets only come later, not earlier.” A wrong decision in in career move or a wrong choice of dress can still be mended but when someone died and you didn’t have a chance to bid this person a good farewell, it is just irreversible like missing the final year photo session that not even a good photoshop can fulfil. And I can never fulfil a promise that I made.
I learned my lesson well. Now, when friends or former students come to town and arrange for a meeting, I’d say yes most of the time. No matter how busy I get, I find the human connection is something that we must value. Of course, for most, we prioritise as the family comes first and we shouldn’t take it for granted. When children need you to be there, be there as a whole, both physically and mentally. We don’t know when our last goodbye is. Ever heard of the phrase, “Live life as if it’s your last”?
It’s very subjective when we start with ‘us’. Some people would rather stay at home and spend time with their family members while some would say that they’d go on a holiday that they’ve never taken to fulfil their bucket list. I’d rather say live life as if it’s our last so we can be nicer to others, treat them with respect and love rather than make it everything about us. Why not try to make it about others for once, don’t you think so?
Don’t be stingy with compliments. If someone looks nice, say it out loud sincerely. If someone looks tired, show them you care and if someone looks down, ask if everything is alright. If a friend is hospitalised, make an effort to visit. Your presence is so much more than a bouquet of flower or a basket full of fruits. Try not to put off what can be done today. Say thank you when you mean it and don’t wait until the person is dead to say nice things about him or her. Say it when they are still living and breathing. When they die, they won’t know what you think. Honestly, I think a eulogy is for the living to hear, not for the dead. For me, it’s a waste of money to send flowers to the dead. I’d rather give money to those left behind to show that I care for the dead.
Treat goodbyes as if they’re our last. Live on borrowed time so we won’t take it for granted. Fulfil our promises and keep in touch with friends and family members. Go for the drinks that we promised to take. Life seems to fade every single day so make every second count!
