‘The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.’
– Martin Luther King Jr (1929-1968), an American civil rights leader and Baptist minister who was one of the most influential figures in the American civil rights movement.
There was a young village woman named Sita in my village. I never knew her because she passed away many years before I was born, but my favourite relative, Uncle Sulas, remembered her well although she was two generations ahead of him. He said she was proud and believed she was prettier than most girls in the village. Her actual name was Esther, but the locals found the “th” too fancy, so her family ended up calling her Esta, then Ista, Sta, and finally, Sita.
Despite the meaning of her name, which is “star” in Hebrew, symbolising beauty, strength, and bravery, she was quite conceited. However, her assumption that the young men would be attracted to her based on her looks was not entirely wrong. She received many compliments, and although she publicly feigned humility and claimed to be “ordinary”, deep down, she loved the praise, and it fueled her vanity.
This continued for a while until she began feeling entitled to those compliments. She believed it was her right to receive praise and high compliments from everyone. However, there was one man, Esra, who didn’t play along. He seemed not to be impressed at all.
Esra was originally named Ezra during a baptism by a travelling British priest from St Thomas’ Church in Kuching. Sometime after that, a schoolteacher explained to the parents that Ezra means “help” or “helper” in Hebrew and is associated with strength and reliability. But perhaps he should not have bothered because they promptly dropped the “z”. After all, they found it bothersome on the tongue. Still, so as not to completely disrespect the priest and the church, they replaced it with “s”, hence Esra.
Sita could not understand why Esra seemed distant and ignored her. Every time they crossed paths, he looked past her or not at her at all. His mind seemed to always focus on something more interesting than her.
One day, Sita got a reality check. While in the company of two other girls in front of a village shop, she giggled at Esra’s shabby appearance, pointing out a hole in his work trousers. Unbeknownst to him, the hole exposed his underwear. Being a stoic and mild-mannered person that he was, Esra calmly responded, “Well, that’s what happens when you work hard all day long. You get dirty and your clothes get torn … unlike some people, they stay clean … soft, clean hands, clean clothes … they don’t work. They like free food, free everything … lazy, useless, but they behave like they are better than other people.”
With that, he strolled away, nonchalantly sucking on a cheap homemade lollipop made from cane sugar, leaving the girls stunned. Though he did not even look at her, Sita assumed that the words were targeted at her and she ran home crying.
At home, she complained loudly about Esra, but her mother disagreed. Her mother declared that Esra was the kind of man any sensible girl would be lucky to have as a husband — strong, healthy, hardworking, well-mannered, and kind. However, Sita, in her conceit, refused to listen.
“I would not marry him even if he were the last man on earth,” she declared.
“Oh! So, you’re so sure about that, are you?” the mother said.
“Yes! I hate him!” she retorted.
“You’re young and just being silly,” replied the mother. “But have it your way. I’ve to feed the chickens now. Stop sulking and cook the rice before your father returns from the farm.”
Despite her mother’s wisdom, Sita clung to her wounded ego. Her pride had taken a hit, and she vowed not to entertain the idea of marrying Esra — or any man like him — dismissing him as if he were beneath her.
The days went by, and Sita continued her routine, still receiving compliments from the other young men in the village. However, the encounter with Esra lingered in her mind. She found herself pondering his words and actions, wondering if there was any truth in what he had said.
Esra, on the other hand, carried on with his life, unfazed by the incident. He remained the hardworking and humble man he had always been, earning the respect of many in the village for his sincerity and dedication.
One day, a powerful gust of wind destroyed much of Sita’s family’s kitchen and also slightly damaged a neighbour’s house. And who turned up to help her father rebuild it? It was none other than Esra. Her father explained that it was that time of year when most able-bodied men in the village were too busy with their respective farm tasks. It was a stroke of good luck that Esra had some free time.
As usual, and much to Sita’s chagrin, Esra never paid any attention to her during the few days that he worked on restoring the kitchen with her father. He concentrated on his tasks from the beginning till the kitchen was completed and looked brand new. Then without as much as a glance backward, he simply gathered his tools and went home.
One day, as Sita was washing her clothes in a stony mountain stream just behind our house, she overheard a conversation among a group of women. They were praising Esra for his virtues and discussing what a good husband he would make.
Curiosity got the better of her, and she couldn’t help but eavesdrop on their conversation. The women spoke highly of Esra’s character, his commitment to his work, and his caring nature. It was then that a seed of doubt began to sprout in Sita’s mind.
Unable to shake off the growing curiosity, Sita found herself observing Esra from a distance. She noticed his genuine interactions with others, his helpful gestures, and his humility. Slowly but surely, her perception of him began to change.
One night during the paddy harvest season, there was persistent and heavy rainfall. Early the next morning, Sita and her family observed the unmistakable signs of an impending flood at their farm. Based on their experience and observations of patterns, it appeared likely that their farm, along with several others upstream and downstream, would be submerged by noon.
If only they could wade through the calf-deep water and work as quickly as possible, they might salvage what remained of the unharvested paddy. However, they couldn’t accomplish this task on their own. If only they had some assistance, even just one or two more people … Unfortunately, all the neighbouring farmers were facing the same predicament.
Just as they were about to give up, Esra came running with a family friend and a female cousin. Without many words exchanged, they immediately started working and managed to harvest the remaining paddy just as the floodwaters reached chest level. Finally, they all breathed a sigh of relief as they stored the paddy in the family’s farmhouse located on a nearby hill slope.
It was on that very morning that something shifted within Sita. She realised the depth of her misjudgment and the shallowness of her previous beliefs. Esra’s actions spoke louder than any words, and she couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of gratitude towards him.
As time passed, Sita’s feelings evolved. She began to value Esra’s qualities and regretted the harsh judgments she had previously made. It took humility on her part to admit her mistakes, but she eventually recognised the admirable traits in Esra that went beyond mere appearances.
Assisting with the paddy harvest was not the only time when her family needed Esra’s help, and he willingly offered a helping hand each time. For various reasons, he consistently supported her parents, for which they were grateful.
Gradually, Sita grew accustomed to Esra’s presence around their village house and farmhouse. Over time, she started to feel an odd sense of loneliness whenever he was not around, even though he seldom paid much attention to her. She sensed something missing whenever he was elsewhere, and before she knew it, she found herself missing him whenever he was absent.
Initially, she tried to dismiss these feelings as preposterous. When that approach proved ineffective, she attempted to ignore them. However, her house and her life felt empty and devoid of excitement without him nearby.
In the end, the tale of Sita and Esra served as a reminder that true worth lies not only in outward beauty but also in the strength of character and kindness that emanate from within. As Sita continued to spend time with Esra, her feelings grew stronger and deeper. They shared many meaningful conversations and moments, and their connection blossomed into a profound love that neither of them could deny.
Eventually, Sita and Esra tied the knot in a joyous celebration, surrounded by their loved ones. Their marriage was a testament to the power of understanding, compassion, and the willingness to grow and learn from one another.
According to Uncle Sulas, Sita and Esra lived a long and fulfilling life together. When he finished the story, a pensive expression settled on his face, and his eyes held a distant gaze. I was young and in primary school at that time, unable to grasp the profound significance of such a tale. However, as the years passed, my comprehension deepened, and I came to fully appreciate the intricate complexities of human nature.
The views expressed here are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the New Sarawak Tribune.
