Being a mother is not an easy job for Victoria Joanne, she had to face the monumental task of raising eight children, each with their own different personalities and behaviours. Considering the disparities, it is certainly a remarkable feat.
Enjoying every bits and moment
For many parents, life changes as they welcome their first child — one that they happily give their lives to. “Every since I gave birth to my eldest son 17 years ago, I have not had any good sleep,” conceded 40-year-old Victoria Joanne, a mother to eight children.
Life was not always as cheery or loud as Joanne remembered. Growing up as an only child, she recalled how lonely she felt at times. “I was always home alone. I wanted siblings to play with.
I never had that. So I know how it feels like to be the only child. And I didn’t like that feeling at all.” Back then, she only had cousins to play around with. However, when they could not come and play with her, she was left disappointed. Thus, when she married her husband of 18 years, they both planned to have as many children as possible. “He only had one brother. So we talked about it, and we decided to have as many children as we can!” she exclaimed.
Today, Joanne said that her dreams have been fulfilled. After giving birth to her eighth child, she actually wanted more, but she no longer could. “Giving birth was never easy. Never had I experienced a labour period that was shorter than 10 hours. With my eighth child, I was induced and only after a gruelling 24 hours, we finally decided on caesarean delivery.”
During the birth process, what came out was not just number eight. Joanne remembered that the nurses also informed her that the fallopian tubes had to be cut out too. “I immediately broke down in tears. I was depressed knowing that I could no longer get pregnant. It was something I happily chose to do for half of my life, and now I don’t have the option any more.”
The years with children
When she first gave birth to her eldest son in 2004, Joanne described the moment as terrifying. “It was scary. I remembered being afraid of him as a child because I did not know how to care for him. I was scared to be left alone with him, so I would return to my mother’s house quite often.”
And since information on the internet was scarce in the 2000s, Joanne had to rely on various parenting books. These days, she said, were much easier. “There are support groups for mothers on Facebook now, and we get to learn about each other’s experiences. We have the comfort of knowing that we are not alone anymore.”
Her youngest daughter was born in 2017, and Joanne said that she had almost seen and experienced all of what the books and parenting websites had shared. “I think I have experienced pretty much everything as a mother. But, I am still learning every day. Every child of mine was born with different personalities!”
Joanne and her two daughters — Delle and Joy. 
Joanne’s third daughter Ella and second daughter Joy taking a selfie together.
Describing her children, Joanne elaborated, “It’s like playing a computer game, and all the difficulty levels pose different challenges. Each one of them has different setups. I have to think eight different ways to deal with each. Some of them, if I say I needed help, they would give me a hand, while some, I have to nag first!” she explained.
Asked about the hardest phase she had to deal with, Joanne resoundingly said the late kindergarten to early primary school years. “During these period, they still want to act like babies, but they are not. You know they are able to do things, but they would rather not and ask you to do it for them instead. It can be very frustrating.”
On the other hand, Joanne said that the she missed the days when her children were still toddlers. “I always loved to have babies at home. Their scent is just indescribable and their antics are so interesting to watch. Why else do you think I have so many children?”
The headaches
Of the many moments she had with her children, Joanne remembered an incident that made her mad when it happened, but was funny as days go by. “Once I was unwell so I took a nap. When I woke up, I went downstairs. Two of my eldest children were laughing so hard. The entire kitchen was flooded,” she laughed as she retold the story.
“Both of them were in their primary school years. What happened was, they were washing the dishes. Then they accidentally spilled some water, which they thought was funny. So they decided to spill water everywhere!” Nonetheless, Joanne said that her children knew to clean up afterwards. The story remained till this day as she said her children would often recall the moment and laughed together.
The life lessons
Having dedicated her life to raising her children, Joanne shared that they had taught her how to live. “After 17 years, I hope I can spend at least 13 more years with them. Back then, I sometimes think negatively, and would always grumble ‘when is this going to end?’ Then I would always be miserable with what I am doing.”
With the years she had gone through, adding onto the coming years, Joanne hopes to continue to enjoy every moment happily with them. “If I am unhappy, then any moment will not be a good one. And this is not just limited to having families, but also other aspects in life too.”
The experiences with her children also taught her that four was the magic number, “Four is the magic number if you plan to have kids. They won’t be so clingy. They will play among themselves and when they need something, they know they need to work together to get it.”
Joanne’s fifth child, Jane recording a song. 
Joy and Josh performing during Ella’s 12th birthday celebration.
True to the numbers, Joanne remembered when she had just given birth to her fourth child, “The first two immediately became independent the moment I brought the baby home. It was like a flick of the switch. The two eldest took care of the third and they knew what they had to do. They were all below 10 years old then, so I knew that four children was it!”
While she often appears as a strong mother of eight, Joanne admitted to having bad days too. “When it happens, I just go for time-outs and write what I feel like. It’s better to take time to cool off instead of forcing yourself to do things.”
Asked about how she would feel should someday the house becomes quiet, and all the children are grown up, Joanne took a deep breath and paused for a second, “Well, on one hand, I’d be happy about that. At least I know, they are going to be independent. Surely I will miss the noise, but it’ll come back. When they have children of their own, they will definitely send their children over to me,” she said with a big smile.
