‘There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.’
– Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948); pre-eminent leader of Indian nationalism in British-colonised India.
“DIDN’T I tell you? Stop having any more kids, I said. You’re too poor to feed them!”
The speaker was not angry, nor was he loud. In an almost hushed tone, he spoke slowly, enunciating every word as if he wanted them to sink in. They were brothers and the one who spoke was the older one. It was late afternoon and they were taking a bath in a pool near where I was washing a rice pot, a wok, and some plates in a mountain stream right behind our village house.
Neither of them paid any mind to my presence. I was a little kid, so perhaps they assumed that I did not understand what they were talking about, or maybe they didn’t care that I was within hearing distance. Either way, they assumed wrong. It was circa 1962 or perhaps 1963, which means I was eight or nine years old. I can’t remember the exact year because it was more than 60 years ago.
Be that as it may, the thing that remained lodged in my mind till today is the conversation because the brothers were talking about something that most people were aware of but rarely voiced out.
I understood what was said; not because I knew where babies came from, but because I had seen with my own eyes what it was like to have too many mouths to feed.
“I thought your wife was on birth control,” said Amang Boi, the older brother.
“She was, but I don’t want to talk about it. It’s too late now; the baby will soon be born,” said Amang Ayung.
As a matter of perspective, keep in mind that at that moment in time, Amang Boi had four children while Amang Ayung already had five.
“I fear for you,” said Amang Boi. “Five plus you and your wife, you have seven mouths to feed, and one more is on the way.”
That made a lot of sense to me although arithmetic was not one of my strong subjects in primary school. It reminded me of an experience I had while planting maize with my parents.
“How do you know how much to plant?” I asked.
“It depends on how many people will eat them and for how long,” said Father.
“I don’t understand.”
“One maize plant has one ear; sometimes two, but the second one tends to be inferior. So, think of one ear per stalk.”
“So, if I want ten ears, I grow ten plants.”
“Correct. How many do you eat per sitting?”
“Two.”
“Then your ten will last for five days. Now, if five people eat two each per sitting, the ten would be enough for just one sitting.”
“That means we would need fifty ears or fifty stalks. Wow! That’s a lot!”
“And that supply lasts for just five days or a week. Think of one month, two months, half a year, one year, and so on.”
And, so, just like Amang Boi, I feared for Amang Ayung. It is extremely tough for a man, even with some help, to plant a food crop such as rice, maize, cassava, taro or yams, etc. on a big enough scale to last a family from harvest to harvest.
The second time I heard the rebuke, “Don’t have kids if you can’t feed them,” was several months later. An exhausted old woman, who had reached the limit of her endurance and patience, blurted out the dreaded words to the horror of her daughter who was drying some clothes outside.
My cousin and I were about to pass by when the irate woman emerged on her veranda violently sweeping the floor with a broom made from the mid-ribs of coconut leaflets. As she sent bits of rubbish flying in the air and across our path, we took a few steps back and waited for her to finish.
To my discomfort, she suddenly stopped sweeping and pointed at me with her broom.
“You! You’re lucky. You have a good life. Do you know that?”
I had no idea what she was talking about, so I kept quiet. Anyway, I felt my cousin tugging the back of my shirt, which was his way of warning me not to say anything.
“You!” she said again. “You don’t know how lucky you are, unlike these people.”
With her broom, she gestured in the direction of her grandchildren who sounded like they were quarrelling over something inside the house. After screaming a string of verbal threats at them she went back to sweeping the floor, all the while spewing her un-grandmotherly tirade.
I gathered that she was tired of having to take care of her grandchildren while the parents worked on their farm day after day.
Her main complaint was there were too many of them and according to her, they ate too much.
“They breed like rats! Too many mouths to feed!” she went on bitterly. “No matter how much food we have, it’s seldom enough.”
What you read here is a toned-down version of the long, terrible tirade. Even today, after more than sixty years, I still cringe when I think about it. The old woman was not specific when she said I was lucky, so I interpreted her words to mean that though my parents did not have great material wealth, we always had enough to eat.
So, dear reader, having stayed with me up to this point, your reward is to answer a brutal question, if you can. Is it okay for people to purposely have kids that they can’t feed? The key word here is ‘purposely’.
As you ponder the question, it’s worth noting that if we humans waited until we could afford tiny humans, we would be on our way to extinction. Consider also the fact that millions of people walking around are ‘mistakes’, the products of unplanned and unwanted pregnancies. It happens to people who may not have the financial means to have children. It also happens to people who are in a position financially to have children. Reproduction does not discriminate.
As a society, do we assist those who cannot afford to feed their children? Or do we say they should not have had them?
You know, one setback could render most families unable to feed their kids. Or provide shelter for that matter. Imagine that your chance upon a child somewhere in need of something. Would you help? Would you get whatever the child needed if the child was dependent on you?
Or do you say to the child, “You’re a stranger to me; sorry, I can’t help you. I have my problems and responsibilities.”
But what if there is no one else? Blame the parents? Blame society? How about blaming the government?
If it is a major issue to help those that are in need or less fortunate, perhaps our focus should be shifted to education on the prevention of pregnancy instead of grappling with issues that arise after the pregnancy has occurred.
Of course, people should wait to have babies until they’re reasonably sure that they can afford to feed more than themselves.
Bad things always happen to people, you know. The economy can unexpectedly crash, or you lose your job, or you are injured and unable to work. What then? Do you get rid of your children because you can’t feed them?
It’s not the children’s fault if their parents are lazy or drug addicts or just bad at parenting. The children still have to eat.
That a child should fall sick or die because of extreme poverty is a shocking state of affairs.
When children go hungry in a country where large sums of money are spent each year on aid and assistance, it suggests that something is wrong somewhere. Something just doesn’t add up.
Today, charity organisations are working flat out just to keep up with demand, feeding multiple hungry mouths.
Some people think there is a simple answer to the conundrum. What if poor people stopped having children? It seems self-evident that if you are not in a position to financially support a family, then it is highly irresponsible to have them. You are endangering their lives.
Nowadays, it is not hard to prevent breeding. You simply swallow a pill, get an injection or get the snip. You do know that science has made life so easy and convenient, don’t you?
Ironically, the people who breed the most are the ones least likely to be able to feed their kids. Do the math; it’s not rocket science. No need for a degree in mathematics or physics to work it out.
Children are expensive items. Surely even idiots know that. Not enough food to go around? Then minimise the number of mouths. Isn’t the answer to child poverty blindingly obvious? Stop having babies if you can’t afford to feed them, period.
Easier said than done, you say? Well, of course! We all know that due to the limitless vagaries of human nature that permeate our societies, the above-mentioned points will not happen.
So, here’s a novel idea. Why not give all males the snip soon after birth? Then reverse it later when they can prove they are financially capable. Too radical, you think? Or it is too sensible? If you concentrate enough, you might hear howls of protest among the righteous, do-gooders and bleeding hearts. They think people should be entitled to have as many children as they like when they like, even if they are incapable of feeding them.
The views expressed here are those of the columnist and do not necessarily represent the views of New Sarawak Tribune.
