Planning a wedding is no easy feat, but it is a fun experience filled with stress from overthinking and over-scrolling on online shopping platforms in quest of the best.
From stress to success: A bride’s experience
Even though it has been weeks since my wedding in mid-October, I still have the post-party blues, the feeling of reliving the moment.
While the wedding day itself was joyous, the months leading up to it were packed with stress from different aspects of the planning.
I started planning right away after receiving the date from a Chinese fortune teller whom my in-laws and husband had consulted.
According to Chinese tradition, marrying on an auspicious day can help harmonise the bride and groom as well as ensure smooth sailing in all family matters.
It is usually determined after counting the bride and groom’s birthdates and assessing their zodiac compatibility.
I had 10 months since January to plan my wedding. The first thing I did was envision my dream wedding. I think this is a very good lesson that I have acquired.
For those who are considering getting married, make an effort to decide on the kind of wedding and theme you want and stick to it. Only then will all of your plans follow through.
But that was not the only thing I learned from my one and only wedding planning experience. Here are some other things I’ve learned:
Make a list of everything you need to do and a sub-list of that list. I find that organising my thoughts by making a to-do list helps a lot with wedding planning. Understanding the type of wedding I had in mind (a cultural-themed wedding) and drafting a schedule helped in the making of a to-do list. From the band to our attire, decorations, food, beers, gift boxes, and so on — every single to-do had extra to-dos. I divided the list into nine months and ensured that each checklist was complete by the end of the month. For example, I set a deadline for all of our outfits to be done by June and sent to dry cleaning in September.
Conduct a thorough survey and research before deciding on a wedding vendor. I think this is crucial in anything we do as we do not want to get into problems or have bad experiences. With my tendency to overthink, I managed to overdo my surveys and conduct verbal research. Choosing a bridal studio for my pre-wedding shoot, for example, I made my decision based on the studio’s in-house photographer portfolio, the way he edits photos, the backdrop option, the albums and frames option, and the studio’s after-service. Aside from the photographer, I also took into account the makeup artist’s work on her models. All of these, in my opinion, are crucial for obtaining the best outcome for pre-wedding photos.
But I did not stop there. I also Pinterest and Xiao Hong Shu my way to cute poses that I might try with my photographer. It is not that I do not trust the person taking my pictures; rather, I am worried that I will get nervous and that none of the photos will turn out the way I wanted. Another example of research I did for my wedding was on my decorator and emcee. I browsed through their portfolio on social media, and asked around about their previous work. Facebook and Instagram are the best places to conduct such research and surveys.
Make a spreadsheet for everything. I find that organising everything on a spreadsheet is convenient because I can readily refer back to it. I had one for wedding expenses, which was then subdivided into several spending categories such as outfits, stationery, and so on. Another spreadsheet was dedicated to guest lists and wedding schedules.
Even though it was my wedding, I spent time understanding both family preferences and cultural taboos. I believe that it is important to keep everyone happy, rather than just the bride and groom. Only then will there be a happy marriage. Throughout the months of planning, I constantly asked my mother-in-law for her opinions on certain things, especially those concerning Chinese traditions. I also discussed with both parents what I should and should not do.
It is never too early to start planning an event. Why do I say this? It is because almost all of the things I have purchased come from Taobao, a Chinese online shopping platform. By April, I had already shipped and received most of the items that I used for my wedding. This may seem unreasonably early, but I find that purchasing everything ahead of time is like preparing an umbrella before it rains. I also decided on most of my wedding vendors early on so that I could focus on other things later. As I did not hire a wedding planner, I had the wax seal invitation cards and gift boxes prepared by August. In October, I had nothing else to do but meet with my band and emcee to discuss wedding details and calm myself before the big day.
What happens if something goes wrong halfway through? Improvise. Do not give in to anxiety and depression because things do not go your way. Stand up and redo it. There is no such thing as a perfect plan in life as unexpected things are bound to happen. There are two reasons why this is a life lesson for me as well as an experience to share with my readers. One of them was a missing cake knife on stage during my cake-cutting ceremony. There was no knife for us to cut the cake due to a miscommunication and an oversight on my part. Despite this, we learnt to stay calm, accept our flaws, and improvise. We used my Chinese fan stick instead of a cake knife. Looking back, it was a funny experience even though I panicked at the time.
These are some of the life lessons I learnt throughout the course of 10 months. Though I have had a considerable amount of time to plan, some people may only have a few months to organise a wedding.
My only piece of advice is to keep calm, make a list of everything you need, and take a deep breath. After all, it is your big day, and you will probably only get to experience it once in your life.
