“I always thought security was a joke at New York, and in US airports to begin with. You can go through any European or Middle Eastern airport and things are a lot tougher”
– Richard Drew, American photographer
NOT to brag or anything, but I have been on more plane rides than I can count, travelling to all corners of the globe.
And let me tell you, I have had some run-ins at airport immigration counters that would make your hair stand on end.
Over the years, I started scribbling down these experiences on my old laptop.
It was sort of like a diary, mostly for keeping my bosses in the loop about what was going on.
Then, the other day, I came across this news about an incident at Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA) involving Tourism Minister Datuk Seri Tiong King Sing.
That got me thinking about my old notes. So, I dusted off that trusty laptop, clicked on the old folder, and, to my surprise, all my notes were still there, unedited after all these years. I figured, maybe it’s time to share these stories with you.
I can’t say how many times I’ve been stopped because my passport looked like it had seen better days, to which I always responded, “Whatever that means, sir”.
Or told my e-visa wasn’t worth the digital paper it was printed on. Or asked why I’d want to come to their country, of all places.
Sometimes, they’d tell me I didn’t have the right paperwork, or that I’d forgotten to print out my hotel booking or return ticket.
Once, they didn’t even recognise my travel insurance, and a few times they said I didn’t have enough cash to support myself while there.
See the trend here? These are things that tend to happen in places where money can mysteriously smooth out the bumps in the road.
Some officers were even upfront about it. They’d say, word by word, “A little green could make this go away.” And I kid you not, a few had the ball to ask for a “tip” just to let me through.
US airports, though, are a whole different game. They’ll give you the side-eye, treating you like some potential troublemaker who’s planning on outstaying their welcome, despite having all the correct paperwork, including a proper US visa.
Luckily for me, when I first landed at the John F Kennedy International Airport to start my studies, I never got the pleasure of being cooped up in a gloomy room for a grilling.
I just flashed my innocent student face and avoided chatting with them because I was scared I couldn’t keep up with their fast-paced New York lingo.
Anyway, from what I’ve heard, they can hold you for over 15 hours. I guess it kind of makes sense when you think about the aftermath of the 9/11 terror attack. They had to amp up the security, after all.
Years later, whenever I jet off for work, I can’t help but recall how some of my old office friends used to brand these airport immigration counters as “gateways to hell”.
I can’t say I disagree, really. I remember landing in New Delhi once, stuck in that long immigration line, I shot an email to my boss David saying, “Feels like I’m in the Hotel California here. I can check in anytime I like, but leaving? That’s another story!”
These immigration officers, they can be tricky, mind you. They might pull a fast one like “forgetting” to put the arrival stamp on your passport.
I messed up too; I did not bother to double-check it. This happened to me once in South America.
There I was, all set to leave, and they’re like, “Hold up. How’d you get in here? Did you sneak past us?”
And just like that, you’re getting escorted to some office, where they make you wait before someone comes to “handle” your case.
Your flight’s gonna take off soon, and they’re giving you the third degree, writing up some kind of report, throwing around words like ‘jail’, ‘fines’, and ‘missed flights’. But then they tell you, all this can go away if you’re willing to pay up.
Some say a problem that can be “fixed with money” isn’t really a problem. But these “fixes” can add up. No arrival stamp? That’ll be RM300. Didn’t print your tickets? RM50 each. Need a return ticket home? That’s a whopping RM3,000. And to get your entry approved again? RM10,000. It’s a money game.
Let’s say you’re leaving a country in Africa. These plainclothes customs officers will be eyeing your luggage, popping up and asking, “Got any foreign currency? More than USD3,000?”
Then, they’ll frisk you, take you to their office, deny you an interpreter, and threaten to make you miss your flight. And after all that, they’ll return some of your money, but not all. Plus, you’ll likely miss your flight, and that’s another expense.
That’s why it’s so crucial to be well-prepared before stepping foot in any country. Currency regulations, medical certificates, photocopies of documents, itineraries, hotel bookings, onward flight tickets, local contacts – check, check, and check.
Like my first-ever work trip to China, I was doing an internship with an investment bank on Wall Street, right in the thick of all the US-China trade tensions.
I showed them my company letter, and they ‘insisted’ – and I mean, ‘strongly’ insisted – on knowing all the ins and outs of my connections there.
I mean, what’s that about, right? Sometimes I wonder if they found that opinion piece I co-authored, you know, the one where I had a few choice words about China’s policies.
The point is, even when you’re prepared, things can still go sideways. Sometimes the computers are slow, or there are long lines. You might wait for three hours, but that’s better than getting hassled.
Over at KLIA, the lines for foreigners can really test your patience. But I get it. Malaysia has its own set of rules, pretty proud of its long list of red tape.
They need to ensure all foreigners crossing their borders are legit. The solution seems pretty straightforward to me – just set up more counters.
You know, like they do at Heathrow or Changi. What’s so hard about that?
Let’s not forget, these immigration counters are the first taste of a country for most travellers.
And you know what they say about first impressions. They’re everything.
