There are three degrees of filial piety. The highest is being a credit to our parents, the second is not disgracing them; the lowest is being able simply to support them.
— Confucius, philosopher
Imagine you are old, sick and have to spend the night alone in the wilderness in an oil palm plantation far from your home. This happened in Sibu recently to a 71-year-old man.
Wong Ging Yieng, who was alone driving his car, went missing while on his way home after undergoing a dialysis treatment at the Sibu Hospital.
The Fire and Rescue Department (Bomba) operations centre mounted a search and rescue (SAR) operation for him later that day around 8pm after his daughter reported him missing.
Police, Wong’s family members and local villagers assisted the firemen in the search.
The first day of the SAR operation was put off at midnight because of darkness and resumed the next morning.
It ended at 4pm the next day after Wong’s daughter informed the firemen that her father had been found by the public at an oil palm plantation at Tanjung Kunyit, Paradom, many miles away from Sibu town.
As I was editing the story, I asked myself many questions.
Shouldn’t any of his children or even grandchildren have accompanied the old man when he went for the dialysis treatment?
Maybe they were busy but even then, one of them could have applied for a day’s leave to accompany the old man.
Recently, I saw a frail old woman with a hunched back seeking treatment at a government polyclinic. She was all alone.
That same morning, I saw a man — he was not as old or as frail as the woman — going for his blood test at the polyclinic. With him was a caring young woman, probably his daughter, who fussed over him.
Lucky are those who have filial children.
My friends, if your parents are old, look after them well. If you live in different houses, check on them regularly and spend some quality time with them.
It is the least you can do for them for bringing you into this world and taking good care of you when you were young.
Remember, one day all of us will grow old and helpless, too.
Some of us may have had difficult relationships with our parents but life is too short for us to dwell on our grievances and be unhappy. We should forgive and forget and let bygones be bygones. With Covid-19 now raging round the world, tomorrow is so uncertain. A person could be here today and gone tomorrow.
If you have young children, remember to bring them up well with the right moral values in life and don’t spoil them.
Even if you have to work hard everyday to provide food on the table, don’t neglect your children, spend quality time and have fun times with them.
Set good examples for your children. Treat your elders well so that your children, too, will treat you well when you are old. Remember you will reap what you sow.
I’d like to conclude my column today with a story entitled “The Wooden Bowl”.
There was once a frail old man who lived with his son, daughter-in-law and four-year-old grandson.
The old man’s shaky hands and failing eyesight made it difficult for him to eat. Peas from his spoon would fall on the floor while milk would spill on the tablecloth.
His son and daughter-in-law became so irritated with the mess that they set a small table in the corner. There, poor grandfather would sit alone while the family enjoyed their dinner.
Because grandfather broke a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. Sometimes the old man had a tear in his eye as he ate his dinner alone.
The four-year-old grandson watched in silence.
One evening before supper, his father noticed the little boy playing with wood scraps on the floor.
“What are you making?” asked the father.
“Oh, I am making a small bowl for you and mama to eat in when I grow up,” replied the boy with a sweet smile.
His parents were speechless when they heard his words. Tears started to run down their cheeks.
That evening, they gently led grandfather back to the family table. Until the day he died, the old man ate every meal with the family.
After that incident, the couple no longer cared whether he dropped his spoon, spilt his milk or soiled the tablecloth.
Yes, my friends, always respect, care for and love your parents. You’ll miss them when they’re no longer with you.
